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Newest Member: asherssoul (45716)

User Topic: His denial may have been true
Athena1979
♀ 39393
Member # 39393
Shocked  Posted: 5:35 PM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have found texts from my WH for soliciting prostitutes on multiple occasions.

Every time I confronted him, he always said, "I have no idea what you're talking about!"

Sure. I know better. Cheaters will always deny.

So...last night, a strange number texts me and says that he has been "watching our texts" and that my WH has something he wants and if this something is given back, then the text messages will stop. And that I'm not supposed to worry, because as long as he gets what he wants, no one will get hurt.

What this is implying as that this guy has cloned my WH phone and has been sending texts to look like my WH was unfaithful and that he will stop doing this, if he gets what he wants.

Either, I need to be really scared - this is extortion - and could harm myself and my family. This would also mean that my WH actually has not been unfaithful and I have been manipulated.

Or...my husband is creating an elaborate and convenient scheme to get away with prostitutes and not being divorced. He could have done this by spoofing his caller id or having someone with a different area code text me.

My WH does say he knows this guy from a long time ago and that he is bad, bad news and has done very bad, bad things.

I won't state my course of action at this point and ride the tide. Because I am a bit scared of what this guy has hacked into. Apparently, he knows when and where my husband and i are at any given moment.

Point being: maybe he has been faithful this whole time. But...if he has this criminal history that was unknown to me before we got married, I may just seek annulment, due to fraud.

[This message edited by Athena1979 at 5:38 PM, September 9th (Monday)]


Married 11/11/11
Together since 3/2005
2 kids
D-day 12/27/12
D-day 4/12/13
D-day 6/26/13
God keeps the devil on a short leash. God will never give you more than you can handle.

Posts: 111 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Athena1979
1devastedmom
♀ 38399
Member # 38399
Default  Posted: 5:43 PM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That sounds a bit fishy to me. I'd go to the police with this information. See how your husband responds to you suggesting this. If he has someone sending this text to throw you off he will be adamant to not contact the police.


Me BS: 42
WH: 44
DDay- April 17, 2013
Married 22 years
3 children: 18, 15 & 9
Reconcilling

Posts: 141 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: 1devastedmom
Morhurt
♀ 40166
Member # 40166
Default  Posted: 5:44 PM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh my! Not necessarily good news is it? I'm thinking you should take it to the police?


Me: BS
Him: FWS
M: 15 years
4 lovely daughters
Working to rebuild.

Posts: 960 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Canada
StillGoing
♂ 28571
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 5:45 PM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So what is this mysterious something?

If someone *really* went through the trouble to clone your H's phone then it's either A) someone with access to Russian-mafia style resources to bust into cell carrier databases and not get hosed or B) someone with such close access to his phone that your H wouldn't notice the guy swiping it to grab the SIM card out of it long enough to perform the cloning process.

It sounds like a typical fail plot from some stupid ass show like NUMB3RS to me (HOOOOORAY ITZ IRC WHAR TEH HAXERZ GOE) but it's possible he pissed off somebody scary.


"You have insulted my footwear."

Posts: 7563 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
Mousse242
♀ 6330
Member # 6330
Default  Posted: 5:54 PM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm betting it's some crap your WH is pulling. Go to the police and file a report on this, THEN tell your WH what you have done. Gauge what is true by his reaction. My guess is that he's going to be scared shitless that he'll be caught.

I'm also pretty sure he's going to make this guy out to be evil as sin but will never give his name out, because he's such a scary guy (i.e. doesn't exist). You know, the way that all the OW out there have abusive BS's who will come after the WS if it comes out that they're having an affair.


Posts: 5473 | Registered: Jan 2005 | From: Chicago
Athena1979
♀ 39393
Member # 39393
Default  Posted: 6:05 PM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm thinking the same thing that its an elaborate scheme to get out of hot water.

But, I still want to be cautious.

It will be interesting if this an elaborate hoax.

Can I win a trophy for craziest story a WS has ever come up with?


Married 11/11/11
Together since 3/2005
2 kids
D-day 12/27/12
D-day 4/12/13
D-day 6/26/13
God keeps the devil on a short leash. God will never give you more than you can handle.

Posts: 111 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Athena1979
blindsided03
♀ 40302
Member # 40302
Default  Posted: 9:55 PM, September 15th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

sounds like WH sending texts from a linked email/text/ipad. go to police or call his BS. dont give in. your instincts aren't wrong.


BW
M6m
Dday(2)8/13
D12/13...he's a sociopath.

Posts: 62 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Hell
trebleclef
♀ 33488
Member # 33488
Default  Posted: 10:16 PM, September 15th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Youve had good advice. Pretend it's a real and scary threat and act accordingly as you of course would to a real and scary threat( Police). Be dumbfounded when your WH goes ballistic.

There were supposedly "threats" to the safety of us all from MOW.

Normal reaction to scary threats? - Report to police out of concern for wife, self, and family.
HIS reaction? - continue seeing MOW out of concern for our safety.

This cost him our marriage and any future relationship with his grown daughter.


True remorse isn't followed by a "but".

Posts: 1809 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: Alberta
Andthencraigslis
♀ 40246
Member # 40246
Default  Posted: 1:04 AM, September 16th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So mysterious man wants something from your husband and blackmails him by sending texts that look like your husband is soliciting prostitutes? I'm trying to think how/why anyone would ever do that? Seems like if you were an evil bad guy you could come up with something more straight forward and damaging... I agree with others go to the police. Then maybe time to see a lawyer? if your husband is willing to go through this elaborate scheme, I worry what may be coming next...

Posts: 43 | Registered: Aug 2013
Tearsoflove
♀ 8271
Member # 8271
Default  Posted: 2:54 AM, September 16th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I call BS on this one. If the guy were blackmailing your husband by sending "phony" texts, he wouldn't send a text to you because then you'd know the texts were bogus. Once you know the texts aren't coming from your husband, your husband has no incentive to give this man anything. It's like kidnapping somebody, giving them back, but continuing to send ransom notes. Your husband is definitely inventive. I'll give him that.


"Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand." ~Homer Simpson


Posts: 4248 | Registered: Sep 2005
refuz2bavictim
♀ 27176
Member # 27176
Default  Posted: 3:51 AM, September 16th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'd be cautious all right!

I'd simply go right to the police with this one. I would not say a word about it to him. I would NOT tell your WH that you have done this or that you plan to do so. I would act without saying a word. The "no one will get hurt if...." is a threat and the police will take that seriously. Please don't wait.

I'd wager that WH is the source.

If my WH was willing to come up with a crazy, not very well thought out plot (love the numbers reference), I'd be scared of what other failed story lines he might invent, and crazy ideas he would come up with to act out in real life.

This makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up. I don't think danger to you comes in the form of some outside mystery "bad" guy.

After reading your old posts, I am afraid for you.
Acts of desperation and manipulation like this are not normal rational behavior. Sure sometimes a normal person can do out of character things in a moment of desperation....but this is a pattern. And again based on your posts, it seems to be escalating as the stakes get higher.

Please protect yourself and your children first. You can get to the bottom of rest after you have ensured your own safety. And if it IS someone else...you are still protecting yourself either way.


BS:ME DDay: 7/18/09 Last of TT 7/11/10
MOW's EA/PA all were my "friends" but one


Posts: 2372 | Registered: Jan 2010
Bravenewgirl
♀ 36267
Member # 36267
Default  Posted: 4:04 AM, September 16th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up. I don't think danger to you comes in the form of some outside mystery "bad" guy

THIS!

If your WH is behind this, it points to a deeply disordered person.

I remember the story of Christopher Coleman, a WH who killed his wife and two sons, because his employer frowned on divorce. He sent himself fake threats for six months beforehand to make it look like a mystery man did it.

I am not saying that your WH is homicidal, but this needs very close examination and immediate police involvement.

Please, please, take steps to protect yourself.


Don't come around here no more
-Tom Petty

Posts: 661 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Canada
confused615
♀ 30826
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 5:27 AM, September 16th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hold the Hell up.

This 'mystery caller" who your WH claims he knew a long time ago and " that he is bad, bad news and has done very bad, bad things" has told you as long as your WH gives him what he wants,no one will get hurt...so this "bad bad man" has threatened you..and your children..with physical harm..if your WH doesn't give him whatever it is he says he has??

First...I don't buy it. I think your WH made this up. And I think your WH is a very VERY sick man. He has invented this "bad bad man" to threaten his BW and his kids..to terrify you. All because he got caught cheating.

Second..if it is true..and your WH has placed you and your kids in physical danger because of his dealings or associations with this "bad bad man" then your WH is *still* a very sick man.

I would call the police..to your home..and tell them what is going on..with your WH there. If this is made up,your WH will crack under questioning. He might be able to scare you,but the cops will see through his bullshit.


Then...I'd ask them to wait while he packed his shit and got the Hell out of my house.


((((Athena))))


BS(me)42
FWH 45
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Reconciled.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7897 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
Broken1Again
♀ 32211
Member # 32211
Default  Posted: 6:13 AM, September 16th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I personally think you need to treat this as though it's true. If your WS is seeing prostitutes, their pimps don't fool around neither do jealous clients that think they are the only one entitled to a particular whore. Maybe he does have something "they" want. Are you willing to take the chance it's not true?

Did your WS at all say "you see I told you those texts weren't from me?" Cause you don't mention that. I'm also not sure why you haven't demanded for him to tell you what it is he has of this "other" person. If you did demand, what did he say?

Chances are he has made this up, but if there is the slightest chance your WS has something this person wants then you need to protect yourself and your children.


BS: 40
WS: 42
Two boys 13/11
Married 15 years
Dday: too Many to remember. 3 significant OW and many "less"'significant OW. Believe WS has bad boundaries and craves the attention.
In R.

Posts: 883 | Registered: May 2011
solus sto
♀ 30989
Member # 30989
Default  Posted: 6:37 AM, September 16th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

His denial was not true. I understand the desire to believe-- I truly, truly do. I also understand what it's like to have a very sick, very desperate WS who will neither face nor tell the truth, even to himself.

Your husband sent the message you received, or had someone else do it, to manipulate you. My husband had "favorite" stripper/hookers; they did all kinds of things to keep getting paid with money we didn't have.

I wholeheartedly agree that you should treat this like a valid threat and have the police come to your house--when your husband is home and can be questioned. First, if it IS true, you need their help. If not, it will draw your husband closer to the help he very clearly needs. Tell them of his involvement with prostitutes-- after all, the "bad, bad man" might be affiliated with them and therefore an important part of the "mystery."

I don't know if your marriage can or should be saved. I do know that if your husband is ever to stop his spiral, he needs to hit bottom. And he seem to need someone to pull the bottom closer so he slams into it sooner.


BS-me, 52
WH (Trac-fone), 53, PD
2 kids-DD25, DS18
multiple d-days
DIVORCING
Alone, most strangely, I live on~Rupert Brooke

Posts: 9014 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: midwest
Take2
♀ 23890
Member # 23890
Default  Posted: 6:59 AM, September 16th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Do texts made from cloned phones show up on both "twins" as texts sent? If so, then the text threatening you should be on his (without any additional numbers to indicate a call from bogus number.) If it doesn't show up on the twin - then the original hooker texts shouldn't be on his physical phone.

eta - if the texts do physically show up on clones (which I find doubtfully but I am no techie) it still doesn't mean he didn't send them all.

I think I'm with the others on this - bring it to the police.

[This message edited by Take2 at 8:25 AM, September 16th (Monday)]


"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." Joseph Campbell...So, If fear was not a factor - what would you do?

Posts: 4162 | Registered: May 2009 | From: New England
refuz2bavictim
♀ 27176
Member # 27176
Default  Posted: 7:57 AM, September 16th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Athena, The following is just some of what I have gleaned from your prior posts and it is why I am going to sound like an alarmist....

This man has been handcuffed for domestic violence by the police, and then later blamed you for missing a half day of work, after you had a major panic attack at work.
He fabricated a story about your baby BLEEDING to death and being airlifted to a hospital, because he needed to manipulate someone to whom he owed money.
He is a (registered?)SO
He has confused you using your faith against you and worked his way back into your house after you kicked him out.
He has found a way plant a seed of doubt about his activities....even though you had put integrated messaging on his phone? You have seen the messages time and again.
And now he has introduced the threat of the mysterious Bad Bad Man. Real or not.

Has he ever had a pysch evaluation?

He has learned how to confuse and manipulate you and convince you to doubt that which you believe, to question your own sanity.
What won't he do??

You need help to stay steadfast AND safe.

Go to the police without letting him know that you plan to do it. Do not tip him off. If history is any indication, he will find a way to talk you out of it, just like he has done every other time you have made a decision relating to him. If he feels that he can't talk you out of reporting the threat, I am concerned what he might do to prevent you from doing so.

I can see the rationale behind having him there when the police come to question him, but I feel that once you have reported the incident are you may tip him off out your conflicted sense of guilt? I think he will then resort to old tactics and try to talk you out of involving the police. And if he can't talk you out it..and believes he is losing control over you, over his ability to protect his lifestyle, what will he do then? Will he do something that results in his needing handcuffs?

I don't think you should be alone with him, nor should your children.

I know the house is yours, and its your home, but until you are safely away from this man, can you find some place to go where he will not have access to you? Is there a shelter or anywhere that you could go just to get away, while you get things sorted out? Can you call your IC for additional support?

Your association with him, keeps putting you at risk, whether it's from him or those with whom he keeps company.


BS:ME DDay: 7/18/09 Last of TT 7/11/10
MOW's EA/PA all were my "friends" but one


Posts: 2372 | Registered: Jan 2010
confused615
♀ 30826
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 8:04 AM, September 16th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I didn't realize your history. ^^THIS x's 1000.


BS(me)42
FWH 45
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Reconciled.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7897 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
Athena1979
♀ 39393
Member # 39393
Default  Posted: 12:41 PM, September 16th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I did call the police that evening. The poor deputy said,"all I know how to do is answer my phone." He recommended that we get the state patrol involved because they have more technology specialist and my WH was staying in a town about 3 hours away.

The deputy asked what would happen if he called my WH. I told him I didn't know and I told him that we were estranged currently and for all I knew, he was making it all up.

About a half hour later, my WH calls me and says he just got off the phone with the deputy. He said that the stuff was artwork. He gave me the whole story of what happened and how he came to acquire this artwork 20 years ago. He told me what he is going to do about it, blah, blah, blah.

Anyway, i think he is full of crap and that the story is super convenient and so elaborate that "how could anyone make up something like that?" I tell you who, my WH is a pro at making up elaborate schemes.

What he has done is make all of the texting unvalidated (is that a word, I don't know). All he has to say is, "oh, you seen a txt to a prostitute? It must have been that guy messing with me."

So this is his new excuse. I will have to catch him in the act to prove myself. If I feel that I need to prove myself. I don't want to worry about it anymore or him.

I figure that someday, when my girls are grown, and they ask why I kicked him out, I can say "because he chose prostitutes. He enjoyed them and didn't want to give them up." And not have them go to their father and hear him retell this elaborate story of someone cloning his phone.

I can either hire a private investigator to get pictures for proof where he will then drop the elaborate story and go back to I'm not showing him enough affection or communication or whatever reason he was always giving.

My WH is rather predictable. He usually gets the girls on Sundays.

The other option I've been playing with is finding him soliciting himself on Craigslist and then ask for his "services" for myself (pretending to be someone else of course) and then meet him at hotel or said location.

My fake email address would be "imgonnacatchya@gmail.com. Just to see of he figures it out!


Married 11/11/11
Together since 3/2005
2 kids
D-day 12/27/12
D-day 4/12/13
D-day 6/26/13
God keeps the devil on a short leash. God will never give you more than you can handle.

Posts: 111 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Athena1979
StillGoing
♂ 28571
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 12:51 PM, September 16th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So either he made up a story as fucked up as your bleeding out baby being airlifted to a hospital, or he's sitting on the stolen Rembrant and this mystery dude needs the FBI off his back and your husband is the only man who knows where the loot from the heist was stored.


"You have insulted my footwear."

Posts: 7563 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
Topic Posts: 24
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