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Anti-versary tomorrow...walking my girls to school!

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blakesteele posted 9/9/2013 19:06 PM

So tomorrow is my 1 year anti-versary.

My wifes affair with a married man father of 5 was discovered by me via text message alert by AT&T. My life, marriage and family changed dramatically between 8 and 10 am last year on Sept 10th.

My wife and her AP would drop their respective kids off at school and then meet up to conduct their affair.

One of the joys in my life is asking to come into work late so that I may walk my girls to school. Sometimes I would ask to leave early so I could pick them up and walk home. We bought a house 2 blocks from the school so that we (my wife is a SAHM with a small business that is flexible enough to allow her to be a SAHM) could do this.

My wifes AP lives miles from the school, but chooses to park between our house and the school. Many days my wife would report NOT seeing AP as she dropped our girls off. Each time I did (4 times total last year) I saw him.

I could not control my primal need to protect my girls from the harm my wifes adultery put them in...and I would engage (mostly entailed me standing between my girls and her AP, staring intently at him, looking for any sign he thought he wanted to engage me). Thank God (literally) he consistently averted his eyes and crossed quickly to the other side of the street. On one occasion I did engage him verbally, again he quickly moved away.

So that is the back story.

Thanks to a tremendous amount of prayer, reading and thousands of $$$ in counseling I am ready to walk my girls to school!

I have asked to come into work late tomorrow and will be walking my girls to school on my 1 year anti-versary....almost to the hour of my original DD.

IF my schedule holds at work, I also have the okay to take off and pick them up....I usually choose one or the other...but not both on the same day.

I decided I am up for this.

My wife and I are not where either of us hoped we would be 1 year into this, but we are both okay with where we are at. We are both currently grateful we are still together after the most challenging year of our lives.

No matter how this day goes I want to specifically thank Sisoon, Brokensmile322, Bionicgal, TxsT, Bikingguy, Catlover50, Musiclovingmom, Tushnurse, tripletrouble,and cantaccept for the sharing of experiences, wisdoms, and thoughtfulness.

I am also grateful to God, my wife, my good real life friends, and my Pastor.

I don't know what the future holds, but I stand in awe of what has happened over the past 12 months. This is unlike anything I ever would have expected....the pain, the rage, the exponential internal growth, the depression, the rollercoaster of is all so much to experience.

God be with all of us.

[This message edited by blakesteele at 7:49 PM, September 9th (Monday)]

bionicgal posted 9/9/2013 19:13 PM

I wrote this on another thread, but my heart is swelling with pride/happiness for you and your girls.

Nothing but healing for you tomorrow. . . .

Tripletrouble posted 9/9/2013 19:17 PM

Congratulations blakesteele, I am so happy for you to reclaim this special time with your girls.

41andthankful posted 9/9/2013 19:17 PM

This made me smile. Blessings to you. "If God is directing our steps, we can be confident that He is aware of our circumstances".

TxsT posted 9/9/2013 19:20 PM

I know all will be well. Hold your head high and be proud of the hard work you are putting in to heal yourself, your marriage and improve your outlook on life. I expect a full report after the fact.


learningtofeel posted 9/9/2013 19:28 PM

We who have gotten so much from your posts are going to be rooting for you tomorrow.

blakesteele posted 9/9/2013 19:31 PM

(((41andthankful))) you are so on target with your statement.

My improved relationship with God is one of the very good things to come out of this year for me. How immature I still am, but I was baby like early into this.

Nice to be on real food!

Peace be with you.

[This message edited by blakesteele at 7:40 PM, September 9th (Monday)]

Skan posted 9/9/2013 19:37 PM

May you walk proud and tall, with your family at your side, and may it be said by all who see you there walks a Godly man.

blakesteele posted 9/9/2013 19:39 PM

(((skan))) (((learningtofeel)))

Skan...thanks....but a more accurate description of me would be....

....there goes a man who resembles an early Peter!

[This message edited by blakesteele at 7:42 PM, September 9th (Monday)]

41andthankful posted 9/9/2013 19:45 PM

Ha...real food! I know the feeling, I'm currently on a Daniel fast. I'm sure all will go well.

blakesteele posted 9/9/2013 19:47 PM

....I am bumping my high school weight...another silver lining to this year.

However, I would not recommend my diet plan to anyone!

Lucky posted 9/9/2013 19:51 PM

Congratulations on your progress! What a wonderful post.

D-day anti is what you make it, or as I like to say, how you control it.

Have a great walk.

blakesteele posted 9/9/2013 19:53 PM


musiclovingmom posted 9/9/2013 20:00 PM

This post made me smile (and I needed that after the last couple of days). I'm so glad you've gained so much strength over the last year. I'm so glad that I get to read your thoughtful posts and incorporate your wisdom into my thought patterns. And I'm humbled to be listed among those who have been of help to you. I'll be sure to keep you in my specific prayers tonight and tomorrow. Let us know how it goes!

blakesteele posted 9/9/2013 20:08 PM

(((musiclovingmom))) praying for you too...hang tough.

[This message edited by blakesteele at 8:09 PM, September 9th (Monday)]

TxsT posted 9/9/2013 20:43 PM

Ok hang on a minute.....I DIDN'T GET A HUG!!!!!


blakesteele posted 9/9/2013 20:52 PM


God be with us all.

[This message edited by blakesteele at 8:53 PM, September 9th (Monday)]

TxsT posted 9/9/2013 21:58 PM

You know I was just poking at you.....but thank you anyway. I was feeling a bit left out.


StillStanding1 posted 9/9/2013 22:18 PM

Awesome news, Blakesteele. I've read how much you've been wanting to have the strength to do this again. Glad you are marking this day in a special and POSITIVE way! Congrats on all your progress!

We who have gotten so much from your posts are going to be rooting for you tomorrow.

So very true! I read more posts than I write and there are some of you posters who hold a special place in my heart and I do pray for your healing on this journey.

Today, there seemed to be a lot of good news and good weekends had by many in the R forum. Many of you around the 1 year mark. I'm 5 months behind and truly hope I'm in a better place in a few more months too. You are all inspiring and encouraging. So happy to read some good things happening for people.

God bless you and watch over you tomorrow! Enjoy!!!!

ItsaClimb posted 9/10/2013 04:22 AM

Have so enjoyed seeing your growth over the last year blakesteele, you can be proud of yourself. Looking forward to hearing how your day goes

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