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Scattered feelings

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hopeful18 posted 9/9/2013 19:10 PM

The last two weekends of the summer I was really down. Wh was trying to be supportive but nothing worked. So eventually he got frustrated and lapsed into his old angry behavior towards me. Our mc has been on vacation. I will bring it up on Thursday when he returns. In the meantime I am curious how you all view these set backs. Are they set backs or signs he is not truly remoursful?
I basically just had to detach for awhile. Since then I feel like I had a break through. I decided I don't want to feel bad anymore about his infidelity. He will either rise to the occasion or not. I think it might be the plain of lethal flatness. He is on a business trip tonight and I am just not worried. He keeps texting to reassure me. I want this marriage to work desperately but I just can't sulk anymore. I feel like I have turned a corner. But I have a sinking feeling. Sort of like I have to accept that he may never be able to comfort me and I can't rely on him to contort me. I almost feel degraded in my own eyes when I tell him I feel sad.
I know this is a scattered post. Trying to sort it all out.

devasted30 posted 9/10/2013 03:13 AM

I know how you feel. Our emotions are all over the place. First sad, then angry, then anxious etc etc etc.
I wish I could say something that would make you feel better but there isn't anything anyone can say.
I go through the "plain of lethal flatness" many times....have had many TT's etc and each time I think that's it, I know I'm done - I can't do this anymore only for the love to return and then I want to continue trying to make this marriage that I thought was okay - not great - but okay work.
Right now - who knows. I am grief stricken and totally gutted. But, how am I going to feel in an hour??? Stay tuned.

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