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I kicked him out last night

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Ashamed14 posted 9/9/2013 19:11 PM

I kicked my husband out of the house last night. Not because of the affair, we are both mad hatters, but because he threw my 12 year old son up against a wall and pinned him with his forearm on his neck. He screamed and cursed at me and the kids.

Part of our marriage counseling was dealing with his anger management problems. He has been verbally abusive to me and my son, physically abusive with my son for years.

My heart is breaking. I love him, but I have to love my kids more. This is so hard.

I've been noticing other couples a lot over the past few months and realized that its not normal for a husband to yell and cuss at his wife and kids. Its not normal to be afraid of your husband.

I think I have finally realized that I am the abused wife that I swore I would never be and as I was trying to be the peace-maker in my home, I stood by and let my husband abuse our son.

I promised my son last night that I would never let his father hurt him again. I told my husband tonight that he can't come back unless I'm convinced that what happened last night will never happen again and his promises won't be enough to convince me.

Watching him pack his bags was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I so badly wanted to tell him to stay, we can work this out. But I can't do that.

I have always considered myself a strong, independent woman, but I feel so weak right now. We will have been married for 15 years in early Oct. I feel like I have a huge hole in my heart and all I have to live for are my children.

I don't know what my future holds and life has never scared me, but it is now.

donotlietome posted 9/9/2013 19:48 PM

I'm so sorry you are going through this. You did the right thing!!! You and your kids should not have to live like that. Hugs.

stunnedin12 posted 9/9/2013 19:53 PM

I am so sorry that happened. You are a strong mom - you are protecting your children and yourself. Kudos to you.

Nature_Girl posted 9/9/2013 19:58 PM


One of the hardest barriers I had to break through to get on this road to healing was the one where I had to admit I was an abused wife. I had to admit that I had become the very person I'd always thought I'd never become & couldn't fathom how a woman could become.

Be gentle on yourself, sister. You're doing the right thing. It takes tremendous courage to get where you are.

Pippy posted 9/9/2013 19:58 PM

I love him, but I have to love my kids more.

I feel like I have a huge hole in my heart and all I have to live for are my children.

At first I was angry when I read those words, feeling so bad for your precious son. I sounded like it was an effort to love your son.

But then I realized you very likely have "abused spouse syndrome" and only lots of IC will help you see things as they really are.

It makes you make excuses for his behavior and overlook things, taking the blame for "making him mad". Sound familiar? But if you don't protect your son who will? You should not have hesitated to call the police on your abusive H. It has to stop NOW. Please get help for your son and yourself.

In the meantime, DO NOT let him back in the house. If he tries, call the cops. You do not love him. You just think you do because the abuse has made you blind to his real character.Hugs to you and you dear son.

jjsr posted 9/9/2013 20:01 PM

You know you have to do this for your son and for yourself. Sending you good thoughts

heathenchristian posted 9/9/2013 20:37 PM

((( Ashamed14 ))) Hugs, so sorry. Protect yourself and your children.
Love and Prayers

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