Topic: What do you do to center?
Member # 36126
| Posted: 9:38 PM, September 9th (Monday), 2013|
When you are feeling
what helps you?
Posts: 1266 | Registered: Jul 2012
Member # 14866
| Posted: 9:40 PM, September 9th (Monday), 2013|
Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless
We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.
Posts: 54134 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
Member # 14003
| Posted: 9:46 PM, September 9th (Monday), 2013|
A hug and an "I love you mom" from my son does wonders.
A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere.
Posts: 14052 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Houston
Member # 32810
| Posted: 9:55 PM, September 9th (Monday), 2013|
Time alone. Sometimes I stare at the wall, sometimes I clean a little, sometimes I organize things. Sometimes I watch dumb tv or read or play numb games on my ipad.
Being alone lets me center.
"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ
Posts: 14090 | Registered: Jul 2011
Member # 32554
| Posted: 10:02 PM, September 9th (Monday), 2013|
Different things, but I need to be alone. Stupid computer games. Singing. Cooking. Sleeping.
Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
Posts: 10677 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Member # 19946
| Posted: 10:02 PM, September 9th (Monday), 2013|
Wandering alone in nature following what draws my curiosity.
The words of spiritual people who have attained peace and equanimity.
[This message edited by InnerLight at 10:02 PM, September 9th (Monday)]
BS, now age 54, d-day 6-2-08, divorced after 17 years M and 20 together. In some ways I have not 'gotten over it'. But I am resilient and have created a good life where I am mostly happy.
Posts: 6107 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: Rural California
Member # 16591
| Posted: 10:17 PM, September 9th (Monday), 2013|
An intense workout.
A good night's sleep.
A distraction - to put the stressor into perspective. Sometimes that is time with friends, or a movie, or shopping.
Posts: 1329 | Registered: Oct 2007 | From: SoCal
Member # 10552
| Posted: 10:22 PM, September 9th (Monday), 2013|
Depends. Things that work for me...
I have little time alone but what I do have is like gold. I either read or goof off on my tablet (damn you, level 79 on Candy Crush!).
Zumba, yoga...just gym time in general.
Time with good friends... ones who really know me.
Driving with the music cranked.
It all depends.
[This message edited by wildbananas at 10:23 PM, September 9th (Monday)]
Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan
Posts: 15522 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Now an AZ girl
Member # 36839
| Posted: 10:38 PM, September 9th (Monday), 2013|
Hitting the gym. I just turn on the music and get after it.
Actually the gym was recommended by my dr as a replacement for ADs. There have been many studies that have shown intense workouts can have just as beneficial effects on things like anxiety, depression and even restful sleep.
I get pretty serious about my gym though, all notepads and tracking lol. But it gives me that thing I always have that I can control. And a time I don't have any other concerns.
DS - 7, DD - 6
Posts: 461 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Fort Worth,Texas
|Sad in AZ|
Member # 24239
| Posted: 1:09 AM, September 10th (Tuesday), 2013|
Getting out into nature or practicing my yoga. Both are pretty much the only forms of meditation that I can muster, but they work.
I used to be able to include spending time with my dogs, but sadly, that's no longer an option.
May your 2015 be more FUCK YEAH! than fuck this
Posts: 21180 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
Member # 11939
| Posted: 4:03 AM, September 10th (Tuesday), 2013|
Running or cross stitching
Married a truly wonderful and loving man Sept. 19, 2010. Not only survived, but thrived.
My new mantra: Argue Your Limitations.
Posts: 40985 | Registered: Sep 2006 | From: Canada by way of Virginia
Member # 28108
| Posted: 4:06 AM, September 10th (Tuesday), 2013|
Riding, music, exercise, my boys, football (yay!),friends, my wonderful SO.
'til the roof comes off. 'til the lights go out. 'til my legs give out, can't shut my mouth
Posts: 6795 | Registered: Mar 2010
Member # 36134
| Posted: 4:16 AM, September 10th (Tuesday), 2013|
Walk, journal, bounce things off one or two friends.
Prayer, inspirational readings, moving my body in some activity.
I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.
Posts: 6069 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
Member # 36445
| Posted: 6:04 AM, September 10th (Tuesday), 2013|
Finding a bit of peace and quiet. It's hard to find it though.
Best thing I gained in my divorce - my freedom.
Posts: 1460 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Australia
Member # 20849
| Posted: 6:19 AM, September 10th (Tuesday), 2013|
Reading, talking to friends, housework, treadmill, games (yeah, right now it is candy crush for me too! OH, and plants vs zombies!!!)
Original WS D-Day July 10, 2008. Kept lying, he is gone.
New WS (2 EA's, no PA) 12-3-13
If you don't like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree.
Posts: 15877 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Ohio
Member # 30346
| Posted: 7:29 AM, September 10th (Tuesday), 2013|
Very long walks, talking things out with friends, taking my kids to eat Fro-Yo
. Just being outside helps lighten my mood...I can just sit on my deck and watch the world go by and sometimes that helps.
In the early days after S, it was reading. It kept my mind occupied.
me...BS, 44 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Posts: 4502 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
Member # 33226
| Posted: 7:35 AM, September 10th (Tuesday), 2013|
I breathe. No matter where I am or what is happening around me, I can always control my breathing and find my center. It grounds me.
You can call me NIK
“The most difficult times for many of us are the ones we give ourselves.”
― Pema Chödrön
Posts: 29015 | Registered: Aug 2011
Member # 32258
| Posted: 8:55 AM, September 10th (Tuesday), 2013|
The gym and when that doesn't work usually just some time to sit down by myself and figure out what is actually bothering me and work through it.
BH = Me
The first true sense of calm I felt in YEARS was when I filed for D...
Divorced 9/2/14 and loving life!
Posts: 1999 | Registered: May 2011 | From: VA
Member # 30341
| Posted: 12:30 PM, September 10th (Tuesday), 2013|
Nature, meditation, baking, reading fiction
If the is self imposed: list making of the things that I'm avoiding that are making me cuz that is usually what brings it out in me...avoidance
DDay 11/17/2010 BW:53
Posts: 3269 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
Member # 26071
| Posted: 12:58 PM, September 10th (Tuesday), 2013|
All that stuff.
D-Day: 6/5/09, drunken ONS on business trip, confessed immediately, transparent, remorseful but emotionally clueless
M 11 years, 3 kids
4/12 Tried to R for 3 years, have decided to D
12/31/12 D final
Posts: 542 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: PacNW
|Topic Posts: 34|