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Newest Member: silenceisnotgold (46036)

User Topic: What do you do to center?
fireproof
♀ 36126
Member # 36126
Default  Posted: 9:38 PM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When you are feeling what helps you?

Thank you!


Posts: 1108 | Registered: Jul 2012
MovingUpward
♂ 14866
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 9:40 PM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Dancing


AKA Moo

Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.


Posts: 53332 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
lieshurt
♀ 14003
Member # 14003
Default  Posted: 9:46 PM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

A hug and an "I love you mom" from my son does wonders.


A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere.

Posts: 13881 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Houston
Amazonia
♀ 32810
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 9:55 PM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Time alone. Sometimes I stare at the wall, sometimes I clean a little, sometimes I organize things. Sometimes I watch dumb tv or read or play numb games on my ipad.

Being alone lets me center.


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13934 | Registered: Jul 2011
Nature_Girl
♀ 32554
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 10:02 PM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Different things, but I need to be alone. Stupid computer games. Singing. Cooking. Sleeping.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU

Posts: 10153 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
InnerLight
♀ 19946
Member # 19946
Default  Posted: 10:02 PM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wandering alone in nature following what draws my curiosity.

Meditation.

The words of spiritual people who have attained peace and equanimity.

Hoop dancing.

[This message edited by InnerLight at 10:02 PM, September 9th (Monday)]


BS, now age 54, d-day 6-2-08, divorced after 17 years M and 20 together. In some ways I have not 'gotten over it'. But I am resilient and have created a good life where I am mostly happy.

Posts: 5959 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: Rural California
TrustNoOne
♀ 16591
Member # 16591
Default  Posted: 10:17 PM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

An intense workout.

A good night's sleep.

A distraction - to put the stressor into perspective. Sometimes that is time with friends, or a movie, or shopping.

Church.


Posts: 1328 | Registered: Oct 2007 | From: SoCal
wildbananas
♀ 10552
Member # 10552
Default  Posted: 10:22 PM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Depends. Things that work for me...

I have little time alone but what I do have is like gold. I either read or goof off on my tablet (damn you, level 79 on Candy Crush!).

Zumba, yoga...just gym time in general.

Time with good friends... ones who really know me.

Quiet.

Driving with the music cranked.

It all depends.

[This message edited by wildbananas at 10:23 PM, September 9th (Monday)]


Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

Posts: 15449 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Now an AZ girl
dlmos
♂ 36839
Member # 36839
Default  Posted: 10:38 PM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hitting the gym. I just turn on the music and get after it.

Actually the gym was recommended by my dr as a replacement for ADs. There have been many studies that have shown intense workouts can have just as beneficial effects on things like anxiety, depression and even restful sleep.

I get pretty serious about my gym though, all notepads and tracking lol. But it gives me that thing I always have that I can control. And a time I don't have any other concerns.


BH (32)
DS - 7, DD - 6
Divorced

Posts: 461 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Fort Worth,Texas
Sad in AZ
♀ 24239
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 1:09 AM, September 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Getting out into nature or practicing my yoga. Both are pretty much the only forms of meditation that I can muster, but they work.

I used to be able to include spending time with my dogs, but sadly, that's no longer an option.


Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where's the tylenol?

Posts: 20559 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
cantlivewithouth
♀ 11939
Member # 11939
Default  Posted: 4:03 AM, September 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Running or cross stitching


Married a truly wonderful and loving man Sept. 19, 2010. Not only survived, but thrived.

My new mantra: Argue Your Limitations.‎


Posts: 40985 | Registered: Sep 2006 | From: Canada by way of Virginia
uncertainone
♀ 28108
Member # 28108
Default  Posted: 4:06 AM, September 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Riding, music, exercise, my boys, football (yay!),friends, my wonderful SO.


Me: 37

'til the roof comes off. 'til the lights go out. 'til my legs give out, can't shut my mouth


Posts: 6795 | Registered: Mar 2010
Kajem
♀ 36134
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 4:16 AM, September 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Walk, journal, bounce things off one or two friends.

Prayer, inspirational readings, moving my body in some activity.


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5744 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
Bluebird26
♀ 36445
Member # 36445
Default  Posted: 6:04 AM, September 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Finding a bit of peace and quiet. It's hard to find it though.


"Loving someone should not mean losing you. Love empowers you. It shouldn't erase you. - Thelma Davis.

Posts: 1408 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Australia
NaiveAgain
♀ 20849
Member # 20849
Default  Posted: 6:19 AM, September 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Reading, talking to friends, housework, treadmill, games (yeah, right now it is candy crush for me too! OH, and plants vs zombies!!!)


Original WS D-Day July 10, 2008. Kept lying, he is gone.
New WS (2 EA's, no PA) 12-3-13
If you don't like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree.

Posts: 15548 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Ohio
cmego
♀ 30346
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 7:29 AM, September 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Very long walks, talking things out with friends, taking my kids to eat Fro-Yo . Just being outside helps lighten my mood...I can just sit on my deck and watch the world go by and sometimes that helps.

In the early days after S, it was reading. It kept my mind occupied.


me...BS, 44 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced


Posts: 4284 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
nowiknow23
♀ 33226
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 7:35 AM, September 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I breathe. No matter where I am or what is happening around me, I can always control my breathing and find my center. It grounds me.


You can call me NIK

"Keep your face always toward the sunshine - and shadows will fall behind you."
-Walt Whitman


Posts: 26515 | Registered: Aug 2011
7yrsflushed
♂ 32258
Member # 32258
Default  Posted: 8:55 AM, September 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The gym and when that doesn't work usually just some time to sit down by myself and figure out what is actually bothering me and work through it.


D-day 5/24/11
BH = Me
2 children
The first true sense of calm I felt in YEARS was when I filed for D...
Divorced 9/2/14 and loving life!

Posts: 1943 | Registered: May 2011 | From: VA
better4me
♀ 30341
Member # 30341
Default  Posted: 12:30 PM, September 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nature, meditation, baking, reading fiction

If the is self imposed: list making of the things that I'm avoiding that are making me cuz that is usually what brings it out in me...avoidance


DDay 11/17/2010 BW:53
Divorced

Posts: 3267 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
peacelovetea
♀ 26071
Member # 26071
Default  Posted: 12:58 PM, September 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

All that stuff.

And Xanax.


BW, SAHM
D-Day: 6/5/09, drunken ONS on business trip, confessed immediately, transparent, remorseful but emotionally clueless
M 11 years, 3 kids
4/12 Tried to R for 3 years, have decided to D
12/31/12 D final

Posts: 542 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: PacNW
Topic Posts: 34
Pages: 1 · 2

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