I feel so disconnected and i mentioned this to him tonight and he immediately turned the attention to me...he said on sunday he tried to bite me on my boobs when i asked him to smell under my arms and i pushed him away... He said he was trying to be sexual with me.. I said really? I didnt know what you were doing. But if you want to have sex or be close to me you may want to be a bit more aggressive. or you can simply say "babe lets f$&@" or i want to be close to you... I asked him if he feel a disconnect when we have sex and said some times.. I said to him i want him to get on top sometimes.. I want to feel close to him and this position makes me feel close...i told him i want him to be more aggresive... He told me he turn off the TV in the LR and came into the bedroom where i was watching TV and laid on my butt.. To him i should have known he wanted to be sexual.. I told him no i didnt know thats what he wanted.. if thats what he wanted he should have said something... Then he says sometimes you have to turn off the TV like he did... I said to him im sorry i am not going to start trying to read ur mind.. I prefer that you let me know when you want to have sex...otherwise it will be like it has been, wher i ask if he want to have sex tonight or when i see him playing with himself then i know he is horny.. The conversation was very weird but it was a much needed conversation...
What say you? Edited for errors...
Have any of you experienced this or are experiencing this too...
My SO is very conservative and ige cannot be aggresive in any way... But this is what i need from him...
You two can watch out for each other to meet halfway. When he says something out loud or tries something more aggressive, acknowledge it and tell him what you like. And if you pick up on signs and think he's signaling he wants sex, respond to them sometimes and see what happens. This could wind up being the start of some exciting things since you two are talking about it.
Physical intimacy is still emotionally complicated for us, but yes, we've experienced this too. Especially the part about the one position, or mixed or missed signals, or me wishing H were more vocal about some things or liking him aggressive. It's been a gradual change. When he does something I really like, I tell him. Now he does those things more. Lots of positive compliments. And I try to spice things up for him sometimes, dressing certain ways or teasing him physically. That usually gets him to initiate more aggressively, if I build it up all day with flirty touches but don't initiate myself. Still working on it, still working through some complications (there's a good thread in ICR for sex issues).
We would go out to eat/ drink and then go home and get wild.. He liked that bc i didnt hold back i would be crative and he was right there to reap the benefits...
Any way to keep enjoying some of those "creative" nights? Maybe date nights?
I have found that I do much better with letting him know, or initiating things, by sending a sexy text or two throughout the day. To me it just sound so hokey coming out of my mouth, to say Let's get it on, or I want you. Not sure why, but it does. But I can do the sending a text thing, and this seems to work well.
Stronger you are correct he isnt that experienced... Although he knows how to please KWIM?
So early this morning he rubs on my butt while i'm asleep...i do not move bc i was asleep and wasnt sure if this was just a rub or "something else" so i wait to see if he would do anything else... He did Nothing but laid there tossing and turning... He never touched me again... Then i got up after abt 20 min to use the bathroom and when i got into bed he rubs my butt and asks if i wanted to do a quickie and i say sure....
Before he left for work he gives me a hug and said he thought abt our talk last night and we can talk about later and i say ok....
What i would have liked for him to do to me while i was asleep. Is to wake me up.. He could have spooned me while kissing me on my shoulder and rubbing my back and putting his 'hard cock' against my butt and playing with my vagina.. Lol!! This would have awaken me for sure.... But this isnt my SO at all but i plan to tell him tonight because he would never think about it....his thing is if i come to bed without underware i must want sex..
Sad to say i enjoy morng sex bc im so energized throughout the day.... He is a sex at night type of guy bc he like to go to sleep right afterwards bc he is so relaxed.... We usually do it on saturday morning sometimes Fri night when he wants to do a 69... I cant do a blow job in the morng, gag reflex big time Yuke..
But it is a good thing to do..It especially gets him going before he even gets to the house...That way he knows I want him and we neither one hold back...
I remember reading in Dear Abby about this one (G rated version ). The guy was always unable to convey when he wanted to have $ex so they had this statue on the fireplace mantle, when he was interested, he would turn the figurine around. It made me laugh to think her husband was that shy but it worked for them.
We talked last night and explained to him in VIVID details how he could have awaken me... Then i rubbed on him and he was ~ripe for the pickens~... I knew that would turn him on.... The funny thing is i asked him how would he have awaken me (since he kept saying he knew how to wake me up) he said by smacking me on the arse. i said ummm!! Nooo that would probly scare the hell out of me since i was dead asleep..,
I see we have a ways to go my friends....
