It appears that your dday(s) are only a few short months ago.
Mine was more than 20 months ago and I still think about the A. I'm sure this is normal and I understand it is not much fun.
On the positive side, you and your H are now being honest with each other and are trying to rebuild a new, real relationship together.
Understand that you will have to work through the pain and the fears as well as learning about each other again, for quite some time.
In my opinion, though, this is not the best time to consider bringing a child into your family. When a baby comes along, many things will change. Mostly, these changes can be wonderful and I hope that you will both have that joy when you feel sure of your relationship without fears or doubts.
Now is the time to concentrate on the two of you, while it is just the two of you. It can be a time that you will cherish and be glad that you had the time and opportunity before you move on to the next phase in your marriage, if it is meant to be.
I will respectfully suggest that you wait awhile longer before having unprotected sex.
I promise you, you will be glad you waited.
I do believe that with the proper healing and actions, you can both get through this, and there is a good chance for reconciliation. Are you currently in counseling together? How is the communication between the two of you?
I would strongly encourage you to get a lot further out from things before you start considering having kids. You are no where near being able to trust blindly again, and having a baby will complicate things. Take this time to really focus on yourselves and each other to really figure out the why's of what you and he both did.
Keep reading here, in the library, profiles, in the I can relate for madhatters, and keep asking questions.
It does help to look at what each other has done to make things better for the relationship. That way you're looking at things logically instead of emotionally.
Hugs your way.
[This message edited by Simple at 6:35 PM, September 10th (Tuesday)]
True love is harder to come by than soul mates. True love requires work.
Ignorance can be cured with knowledge. There is no cure for being an idiot.
-October 3, 2007-
Stop having unprotected sex until you both test clear. Seriously. Getting tested sucks, but it's better than carrying an infection around.