SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

So reading all these positive posts got me thinking. How do you and your other half spend time together having fun? What do you do to just let your hair down, forget about the A and have fun for a little while?

DH and I love to go to dirt track races. We have 5 different tracks close enough to our house to go on a regular basis. We have a blast. It is one of the best times we have together, well.. with our clothes on anyway.

We also are very involved in the HS Marching band since my 2DD's are in the band. Going to football games and competitions is so awesome. If you like music and have a competition near you, check one out some time!

We also have woods behind our house where we take vintage trail bikes and go riding.

So what do you do for fun now that you didn't do before the A?

[This message edited by shatteredheart7 at 11:33 AM, September 10th (Tuesday)]

Golf, gardening, yard work. Watch sports, play Yahtzee and cribbage.

We watch TV shows together. Series that were/are popular, but we have never seen. We do it in marathon sessions, 2-3 episodes a night.

We started with Lost, then went to Modern Family, Parks and Rec, Dexter, and now Breaking Bad. Next up will be Game of Thrones, I think.

Things we do specifically now that we didnt do pre-A....

yoga (till i hurt my wrist and my doc made me stop ) but we are going to replace it with a different exercise routine

instead of his or her household projects, we do the projects together now. While i am not much use when it comes to cleaning the garage (ewww, creepy crawly things)...i can certainly stand there, supervise and hand him his cold beer!! LOL

We also make more of an effort to go out on date nights regularly...doing different things that we havent in the past. for example, I bought groupons to a food show where we watched cooking demos and sampled food....we try to cook more meals together now!!

We actually did all this pre A and during the A. Which is probably why I was blindsided. I thought life was pretty fun, but obviously it wasn't enough.

We have decided to share a few of our favourite things together, for the first time in many cases.

-golf....hubby is a 4 handicap and has wanted me to join him on the links our whole married life. I did that this spring and we have a great time together in the evenings. Even going to e corporate a few golf trips into our schedule

-bike riding in the mountains. I love road riding but my H was never interested in giving up a whole day to this effort. I stopped doing it not wanting to be alone on national highways or in the wilderness myself. We have since done one half day ride with a picnic at the end to celebrate. He had more fun then he thought.

-group home projects....had stopped working together on these and now do them all together. Builds cooperation and communication

-spontaneous activities.....before we had to plan EVERYTHING. Now we just run with the weekends. One day is for us to do things together and one is our rejuvenate days where we are allowed to focus on ourselves individually without creating ill feelings.

-movie night has returned....love snuggling in the show with hot popcorn between us.

t

We always did a lot of fun and adventurous activities together; the big difference now is we do the regular things together. My H will go grocery shopping with me, walk the dogs, help with dinner, etc. He is never cranky about it, as he sometimes was before, and it is so nice to enjoy time together this way.

One new "fun" activity is that at least once a week we take a bath together (two person tub). I have strung colored lights around the tub, have candles, music, bubbles, wine. It's lovely.

And, we have a lot more sex! That's fun!

gosh, lots of ways: we're empty nesters so none of those childcare issues to deal with. We have all those couples friends that we met when the kids were involved with stuff and we're still best friends! There is a lot of boating and parties.

We're also pretty young so we're very active outside working out biking, running or swimming.

we go to sporting events and like to travel.

we don't eat out but we do sometimes go to movies and have popcorn for dinner!

It's been fun watching our kids grow and choose careers, finish school.

LOLOL Rachel....had popcorn for dinner on Sunday night!!!

T

We actually did all this pre A and during the A. Which is probably why I was blindsided. I thought life was pretty fun, but obviously it wasn't enough.

Tred...One of the best things I have done for myself is to absolutely know that the state of our marriage and the state of our love had absolutelynothing to do with his behavior.

We went back to the things that initially brought us together in the first place; bike riding, gardening, exercise, boating, fishing, boating, fishing, boating...

Well our main pasttime these days is our small business - beekeeping. Other things that we both love, fishing, going to the driving range, eating at new places, and of course time in our room with the door closed and Locked!

We both sail Tall Ships and just did back to back Festival of Sails. On Sunday, we were within 30' of a Blue Whale that was amazing! We're back to planning upgrades to our house and this month, we're going to try to knock off doing new flooring in the guest room and hallway, plus maybe get a start on the dining room. We were having regular date nights but since he was laid off, we've been keeping it close to home, but I did get a groupon to go on a flight in the harbor on a Sea Plane for his birthday!

And sitting home at night, having dinner together, watching a bit of TV, or reading, or him playing games on his computer while I talk here.

Sex is a rather nice, regular occurrence as well!

Sex is a rather nice, regular occurrence as well!

Funny!

Okay, let's see....we just started watching Breaking Bad, I will watch football, yoga once/week and we have decided that we need to do something that neither of us excels at but the interest is there ie: dance or cooking lessons.

Always good to start these posts sh7!

After DDay 2/29/12 we started really making an effort to get out more together ,walks, hikes, long-ish bike rides, dinner, movies, concerts, comedy shows, art shows, the Davinci Machines show (awesome) and we were having a great year.

Dday 3/19/2013 hit me hard as I thought we were in R and doing so well.

So, once again, still, we are going out and doing all those things. We run a 24/7 business together so getting away has always been an issue and working together is hard on a couple, you tend to fall into a rut with the daily grind, but we did get a long weekend away to Vegas in July and are going to St Lucia in January (slow times for our biz).

We get along much better when we can get away from the biz, and, since my part of it is working from my home office, getting out of the house is crucial for me. We may even catch a Broncos football game in a few weeks. We used to have to pinch pennies but these days I am trying to enjoy life more. We don't go too crazy though, just good to get out.

We go to the beach, play tennis, Rollerblade, and other athletic activities including a special one that involves competitive league play. We are getting kayaks soon to go on the river. He wants to teach me to surf.

We spend time with friends and their kids. We watch TV together but that's not so much "fun" as it is relaxing.

bump

Our son just started kindergarten this year so we spend it making love, eating out, and doing everyday things together. Oh and the best part.... we bought a motorcycle and go riding almost every day. Its nice to have some alone time for once. We also make date night a weekly event. We actually enjoy our time together now. Who would have thought. Not the way I would have wanted a wake up call about our marriage, but it has made us both not take each other for granted.

[This message edited by heartbrokeninaz at 7:14 PM, October 10th (Thursday)]

We're only 3 months removed from D-day...I honestly can't say that we're doing anything new, per se. But we have been having more sex...and it's been more fun too!

Last year, he started taking me to the range and I learned how to fire a gun. We actually had a lot of fun doing that, and I hope we can start going again. We got busy with the holiday season, and then his affair took off full steam ahead after that...sad but true...his affair pushed everything to the sidelines for awhile.

I hope we can start building new hobbies together...thanks for the inspiration on this thread!

[This message edited by kickboxer at 8:23 PM, October 10th (Thursday)]

Even Shirley Glass in "Not Just Friends" emphasizes the benefit of planning fun stuff to balance the hard work of R.

Aim for a 5-to-1 ratio ... 5 positive interactions for every 1 negative exchange.