Thank you all for your responses!! Seriously today has been rough & feeling alone in all this seems less so with all of you!! XO
Questions I have?? A lot of them. I'm trying to decide which are in fact important necessary questions & which may just fog my head further.
I'll list my random questions (in no order) & if you have experience with these specifics with your WS please elaborate. I'll admit my imagination is my worst enemy! The imaginary mind movies (since I don't know what happened) are awful! Some questions relate to how we relate/interact with each other, or we used to, which may be why those details are important to me. Idk....
Where did he find her? Craigslist I presume....
Where did the communication between the 2 start? I have emails, but they start sort of mid-conversation. There was clearly communication before what I've seen.
Did he undress her? (Personal question, he always used to ask me to undress myself, I told him often I wanted him to undress me...)
Did she undress him?
He swears he didn't screw her.....
I need to know what went down exactly. Spent $200 for a hooker & didn't have sex??? He admitted to some vague details, but it doesn't add up. He says no sex, no BJ, no anal.......
How could he text her & me simultaneously for over an hour before it happened & still go through with it? (May never have an answer for this)
What drove him to want a hooker when he has a hot wife, 13 years younger at home, where nothing is off limits in the bedroom, amazing sex happens very frequently?
He's a very publicly recognized person & has an amazing job, we have 6 kids, a grandbaby, I own my own business. Who risks all that for a nasty hooker, 40 miles from the Mexican border??
He spent all day arranging this 'meet up' (emails & texts verify). It's possible it started before the actual day, but with missing emails I don't know. And when I arrived the next day (he was on business trip, he asked me to join him a day later) he was going to let me crawl in that bed with makeup & sex smeared all over the sheets & have sex with him.
How can he be ok with that?
I think I'm rambling now........I'm sorry!
I need to get stronger in MC, we've both been so nice at MC. Our counselor said the nice would have to be put away eventually to get through this.
I have an absurd filter that keeps me from saying what I want to say or need to say. If I was making coffee with my 'filter', all you'd get was water!