Before the A my wife was literally madly in love with me and had been like this for 18 years. Until...she was madly in love with someone else.
After the discovery of her affair she became the vilest most deceptive person I have ever been around or witnessed.
After a while she seemed to have snapped out of it and gone back to her old self.
We are 16 months out from D-day and the other day my wife plops down on the couch next to me with the sweetest smile in the world and says "I'll love you forever". This is similar to the behavior that I experienced for the first 18 years of my marriage. I responded with "great".
Internally I said to myself "yeah right".
She then asked me if I'd do the same. I responded affirmatively.
The whole thing just really sat with me the wrong way. I don't know why but it just did.
She hasn't done a single thing wrong in the past year. Not one thing. She is very sorry about her behavior in the past and expresses it often.
After seeing how deceptive she was capable of being I still ain't buying it.
I believe that we are married as long as I am useful and I have no illusions that it is otherwise. Before her indiscretions I would have bet you a million dollars she would never have done that.
Now I feel that my marriage will always be marred by what happened. I will always see "us" through that lens.
Will this ever go away???