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mixedintherut posted 9/10/2013 18:42 PM

Today has been horrible. I feel like I could snap, at any given moment.

I checked his call log, as I always do, saw her number, and the amount of time that they are still talking and a dose of reality hit. He has no intentions of ending this anytime soon. She's still "just a friend" and he has cut me out of his life as best as he can. And seems to be perfectly content.

I don't think I have it in me to spend the rest of my life checking phone records, and being paranoid at any given moment that a 3rd Dday would arrive.

I don't want my daughter growing up thinking that it's okay for her spouse to cheat on her, and just continue to stay in the relationship. My mom's current bf has cheated on her at least 4 times that I know of, and she stays for financial stability. I am obviously in my own situation. Two days ago, my sister calls me crying, her bf of 2.5 years has started texting someone, he has cheated 3 times that I know of. Why do we allow it to be okay? I don't want that for my daughter!

I am calling lawyers tomorrow. I know that ultimately he is not willing to change at this point, and I don't have it in me to wait 2.5 years again. I can't sit back and watch him live his life working monday and tuesday, he comes home plays house for 5 hours, goes back to work and then on the weekends, he's home and acts as though nothing is wrong.

I have to be smart about all of this, and I don't know quite what that entails yet. I started IC last week, will call lawyers tomorrow, and try to start saving money.

A real man, owns his shit and does anything he can within his being to keep his family. He is throwing us away as if we were yesterdays trash! Well it's time for me to take out the trash, it stinks, and it's rotten, and it's past due!

Now, I have 5 hours left to make it through day without snapping. Here's hoping I can make it!

jjct posted 9/10/2013 19:02 PM

Sending good thoughts to you mixed...

I know you know filing is not the same as finalizing - it's just one small step.
I wanted to say that so it wouldn't be so "big", or scary to you.
There's still time for you...

I hope you begin to feel a greater peace, and a certainty about your path.
D is often the best thing for us, compared to the rest of the choices we have...
hugs

unfound posted 9/10/2013 20:41 PM

I have to be smart about all of this, and I don't know quite what that entails yet. I started IC last week, will call lawyers tomorrow, and try to start saving money

This is a great start. One day at a time. Hell, one hour at a time!

Read about the 180 in the healing library. It might help get through this without snapping. You can always come here to vent it out too .


Find yourself a mantra that you can say to yourself like "taking the trash out" when you feel like you're going crackle or pop.

Hope2B posted 9/11/2013 00:54 AM

I am so sorry to read about what you're going through! I don't know why men so often think with their small brain.

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