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Love languages applied

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musiclovingmom posted 9/10/2013 20:44 PM

My H and I took the 5 love languages quiz months ago. We familiarized each other with the title of our love languages and promised to work at showing our affection using them. This 'plan' has been pretty useless. See, even though we share one of our top two languages, we still speak that language differently. His idea of quality time and my idea of quality time are decidedly different. What he considers to be him speaking words of affirmation to me is not what I desire to hear as words of affirmation. So, here is what we are trying. Our bathroom mirror now has each of our love languages written with a couple of general ideas for how to express them. My side looks something like this:
Words of Affirmation
- give direct compliments, not all related to physical appearance

Quality Time
- talk/share our day (NO TV)
- Bible reading/study

Anybody else have good ideas about applying love languages or just building loving feelings?

LA44 posted 9/10/2013 20:51 PM

Hey MLM, One of mine is gifts. I sent him a list of gifts that I enjoy getting:

ie: a cup of coffee, a fav magazine/chocolates. Hey, if he wants to get me a beautiful nightie which is not on the list who am I to turn it away?

His is touch. I am not a toucher but I have become moreso bc that is what he NEEDS. I will walk by him and touch his arm, rub is neck when he's driving. We even fall asleep holding hands.

I think Chapman makes it clear that if you the person likes, I will use touch as an example, but you are not touching in a way that is pleasing, you must say something.

ps: Did you just take the quiz or did you also read the book? I would read the book.

[This message edited by LA44 at 8:53 PM, September 10th (Tuesday)]

musiclovingmom posted 9/10/2013 21:04 PM

I read the book many years ago, before I was even considering a long-term relationship, on the suggestion of my pastor. It is a great read.

Skan posted 9/10/2013 21:07 PM

My FWH's language is touch. He actually sinks deep into depression if he's not touched enough. If he's deep into depression or feeling horrible, I can almost singlehandedly turn that around by touch alone.

Mine is gifts of service. Right now, my back is killing me, so FWH has cleaned the pool, cleaned the kitchen, and is cooking dinner while I'm typing. He's scoring big tonight!

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