Read your post again and please tell me how either of them are being rewarded?
She sounds like a train wreck. He sounds like a train wreck.
Unless by rewarded you mean they are each getting what they deserve....
What you are feeling is completely normal. The sad clown was 40 when he started playing house with OWUmpteen, his 24 y/o office gopher. She wasn't even the OW of DD. She dresses like some kind of emo/goth thing and I've been asked if we have older children. Erm, no - that's not our oldest daughter, that is his GF.
Don't look. You don't need to know this stuff. Stop focussing on him and his motivation, plans, whatever and start focussing on yours.
You are very early into this - I was a hot mess for those first few months.
It gets easier. It won't always feel this way and sometime soon you'll realise this isn't something that is happening, it is something that has happened.
I didn't believe it when the good folk here said it to me when I was hurting and keening like you are now. But its true.
NC = No New Hurts.
Please read "She's Special" - its the second article down:
And also Romantic Infidelity:
These two articles gave me so many lightbulb moments that I was dazed for weeks.
This is how they roll. Changing the players doesn't change the game. Lather.Rinse.Repeat. They want to live in UnicornFartLand but reality always kicks in. And we all know how much they don't like reality.
One day you will see his total lack of remorse as a gift. It will push along your detaching far sooner than it would if he was still trying to cake-eat. He is saving you potentially years of this limbo shit.
I'm so sorry, friend. Please know you're not alone. I was so full of rage and hurt when I finally accepted the length and breadth of his betrayal that I felt like I would suffocate under the weight of it all.
But I didn't. I moved through it at a snails pace at times and then at lightning speed at other times. They don't call it a rollercoaster for nothing. Damn rollercoaster.
Keep reading, keep posting. You will get through this. That is one thing you can be certain of.