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Finding out more and more

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Needadrink posted 9/11/2013 05:08 AM

well I have to post just to vent I'm afraid. the more digging I have done the more I am finding out, yes he is being honest but it's like pulling teeth. Found out that the 18 yr affair also involved him giving her money for an international trip so she could visit her sister, poor thing told him she didn't have any money.He also spent long drives to spend the night with her one of them was an 11 hour drive after flying for 7 hours, god he must have been desperate.I thought we were finally building but the bitch called me and abused me, what a nerve, I couldn't get a word in though and then she hung up. It is 3 months from D Day tomorrow and it doesn,t get any easier.H say's that he is just remembering all these extra details because he has started to write them down. That makes me laugh!! I have told him that she has won even though he say's he wants nothing more to do with her. he says I am the only one and he is so ashamed of his behaviour. He say's nothing more to tell me now. I just need some feedback as this new info is so raw I just feel like going to see a lawyer tomorrow.

hard_yards posted 9/11/2013 05:52 AM

Going to see a lawyer is a very good idea. For all BS.

This by no means, means that divorce is inevitable, it shows that you are protecting yourself, and gaining knowledge as to the position you might find yourself in, should this all go south.

Knowledge is power.

TT is only adding further trauma to an already devastating situation. He needs to know this.

In the healing library, you'll find "Joseph's Letter", copy it and change it to suit your situation, it's been the catalyst for many a WS to realize that omitting, denying and sidestepping the truth only does more harm.


Simple posted 9/11/2013 13:46 PM

This is a raw phase. We're here for you.

Hugs your way.

Skan posted 9/11/2013 14:03 PM

(((hugs))) I agree, this is a very raw phase. Seeing a lawyer is always a good idea I sure did. It gave me a comfort of mind that there were other options for me.

Also, it is very possible that he is telling you the truth in that, as he writes, he is remembering other things. I know both from my experience in writing my personal timeline to compare with my FWHs timeline, that just the act of writing something down, or checking out a day timer, brought back more details for me. That was also true of my FWH.

Doesn't mean that it still isn't agonizing it is. But he might be telling the truth. And I sincerely hope that you blocked that crazy slunt that he brought into your life.

Needadrink posted 9/11/2013 16:53 PM

I now feel that I know everything after spending almost 24hrs non stop talking with hardly any sleep.He is coming home tomorrow for 9 days. Yes I have never felt so raw even had suicidal thoughts but know that I owe myself and my kids more than that.I want to try and rebuild, I know it is going to be painfully slow H says he is there for me every step of the way and more. I just have to try and believe him. Lets just see how this 9 days goes.

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