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Landoes (original poster member #40222) posted at 6:00 PM on Wednesday, September 11th, 2013
Hi SI,
I am over 3 months from Dday. I know it's still very fresh but the triggers, movies and thoughts of ending the relationship are getting worse and worse.
I know I'm not separated; but I would like to know if the movies (in your head), triggers and anger issues go away if one were to leave the relationship?
Not sure where to ask this question, sorry to the mods if its incorrectly categorized
SeanFLA ( member #32380) posted at 6:04 PM on Wednesday, September 11th, 2013
It takes a lot of time. Three months is nothing I hate to tell you. For me at least a year. You will have different feelings too if you are divorcing you never thought you had. I think I was one of the strange ones because it took ten months for the anger stage to really hit me. I had wished it hit me much earlier. But I know I couldn't move forward until it actually did. Once you begin to move to acceptance the movies and stuff will begin to end. It's just the way our minds process things. But know there is no set time on it. Everyone moves at their own speed.
BS(me) 53
WW 52
1 son 20 yrs old
Married 18 yrs, together 21 yrs
"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have." ~ Bob Marley
ChoosingHope ( member #33606) posted at 8:17 PM on Wednesday, September 11th, 2013
I had triggers and movies for years while married to a serial cheater.
It wasn't until about a year after I left him that the movies went away. Now it's been two years, and I can't remember the last time an unsolicited movie crossed my mind. (And I'm still trying to divorce the SOB, so that's a big statement for me to make.)
It's good now. It takes a long time, but once you separate and work on yourself and start looking forward to the future, you find yourself in a new place with a new outlook.
Three months is too soon. Right now I hope you can just take care of yourself and find a therapist or other trustworthy person to talk to. Hang in there. Life gets better - much better.
Landoes (original poster member #40222) posted at 9:05 PM on Wednesday, September 11th, 2013
Thank you so much for your replies.
Like you guys said, I will work on myself, both physically and mentally.
sparkysable ( member #3703) posted at 2:24 AM on Thursday, September 12th, 2013
Definitely that first year is the worst. For a good straight year.
D-day OW#1 2/2004;D-day OW#2 5/2010
Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.
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