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Do the movies stop?

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Landoes posted 9/11/2013 12:00 PM

Hi SI,

I am over 3 months from Dday. I know it's still very fresh but the triggers, movies and thoughts of ending the relationship are getting worse and worse.
I know I'm not separated; but I would like to know if the movies (in your head), triggers and anger issues go away if one were to leave the relationship?
Not sure where to ask this question, sorry to the mods if its incorrectly categorized

SeanFLA posted 9/11/2013 12:04 PM

It takes a lot of time. Three months is nothing I hate to tell you. For me at least a year. You will have different feelings too if you are divorcing you never thought you had. I think I was one of the strange ones because it took ten months for the anger stage to really hit me. I had wished it hit me much earlier. But I know I couldn't move forward until it actually did. Once you begin to move to acceptance the movies and stuff will begin to end. It's just the way our minds process things. But know there is no set time on it. Everyone moves at their own speed.

ChoosingHope posted 9/11/2013 14:17 PM

I had triggers and movies for years while married to a serial cheater.

It wasn't until about a year after I left him that the movies went away. Now it's been two years, and I can't remember the last time an unsolicited movie crossed my mind. (And I'm still trying to divorce the SOB, so that's a big statement for me to make.)

It's good now. It takes a long time, but once you separate and work on yourself and start looking forward to the future, you find yourself in a new place with a new outlook.

Three months is too soon. Right now I hope you can just take care of yourself and find a therapist or other trustworthy person to talk to. Hang in there. Life gets better - much better.

Landoes posted 9/11/2013 15:05 PM

Thank you so much for your replies.
Like you guys said, I will work on myself, both physically and mentally.

sparkysable posted 9/11/2013 20:24 PM

Definitely that first year is the worst. For a good straight year.

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