A season now. My 4th - the actual A in 2010, and now the 3rd antiversary.
I think I may be triggered almost 100% of the time, except for the time I spend on my (pedal-driven) bike. It's low-level triggering, and I can feel pain releasing as I go through it, but it's gotten old and annoying. Oh, well - 2-5 years.
Pre-A, I used to tell my W ILY a lot; words of affirmation was a big love language for me. Actions meant more to her than words, though; W rarely could say ILY to me convincingly.
Post-A, she's convincing when she says it, but she still doesn't say it much - maybe once a month? (Touch trumps words for me, and she's been great with that post-A, so the lack of words hasn't been an issue.
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Post-A I just don't say it. It's as if I think my saying ILY was a problem, and I guess it was. I should have demanded more than I did pre-A.
In any case, W was going out to audition for a very good, large amateur chorus last night. (They do things like Verdi's Requiem.) She hasn't sung for several years, so she was nervous. As she was leaving, 'No matter how you do, I'll still love you' just popped out of my mouth.
I'm really puzzled about saying it. I hope it's a Good Thing I said it. I think it's a Good Thing. But, boy, I feel weird about it!
I used to bike pretty seriously - 100-150 miles every week in Summer and Fall, with a ramp-up during the Spring. I cruised at 16-18 mph on my own, 18-20 mph with a group. I stopped when I became a road warrior in the early '90s, started back in 2002, and stopped again in 2005.
I started back up on July 5 after watching a couple of Tour de France days. I have to build my strength slowly, because if I push myself too hard, I tend to hurt my back. I started off doing 9-11 mph over 3-5 miles. Now I'm doing 13-15 mph over 15-20 miles.
Anyway, I really love cycling. Almost as much as sex, actually, now that I think of it. Fortunately, doing one doesn't preclude doing the other earlier or later the same day.... Just musing....
Remember - it takes all kinds.
Thanks for reading. I'm obviously in a pretty good place, and you folks helped me get here.