me (WW/BS): 48
4 kiddos in mid 20's
“Never be so focused on what you're looking for that you overlook the thing you actually find.”
Trickle truth kills.
Divorced and remarried to XBH
Those lies were selfish and about self-protection, but they ultimately made things ever so much worse. To answer the original question, no, I don't want to be that person.
Unfortunately, the wisdom of NOT trickle trothing appears to be only gained through personal experience....ie, WS cant get that from hearing others talk about it or reading it in a book.
Still...I sincerely appreciate you posting this here...if it helps just one marriage avoid this dreadful act from becoming part of their past it is sooooo worth your effort.
God be with us all.
[This message edited by blakesteele at 3:05 AM, September 12th (Thursday)]
I'm a grown woman. I don't need to be lied to. I don't want him in control of our outcome if it's done with lies. He can control the outcome with honesty, empathy, compassion, love, and comfort. Or leave.
[This message edited by Sadwife222 at 4:23 PM, September 13th (Friday)]
I gave her a chance for reconciliation and she was probably texting with the adultery guy within minutes after agreeing to do so. Why she bothered to agree to it at all is baffling.
Fuck. That. Shit.
After that I wasn't going to deal with this fucking horror show anymore. As heartbroken as I was, I knew I was divorcing her. I didn't know this person. I didn't need this dishonest shit in mine, or my children's lives any more. This was the female role model for my kids?
For any WS's who are still lying or TT'ing - knock it off. You are simply demonstrating grand cowardice and you will pass that on to your children if you don't stop and be completely honest with your BS. But the one you have to be the most brutally honest with is yourselves.
And only after you are completely truthful can true healing begin.