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Divorce/Separation :
Positive Spinning

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 gypsybird87 (original poster member #39193) posted at 12:25 AM on Thursday, September 12th, 2013

So, the last few weeks have been rough, and my self-talk has been downright abusive. I'm turning over a new leaf today and trying to put a positive spin on my negative thoughts. Here's what I have so far:

NO: My life is a mess

YES: My life is in transition

NO: My future is empty

YES: My possibilities are endless

NO: I'm alone

YES: I'm learning to rely on myself

NO: I'm single, AGAIN

YES: I'm free to do whatever I want

NO: I wasn't worthy of his love

YES: He wasn't worthy of MY love

NO: He chose her over me

YES: He chose himself, and if she wants a man like that she's welcome to him!

NO: This is too hard.

YES: This gets a little easier every day.

NO: I can't do this.

YES: I already AM doing this!

That's it so far. Do you guys have any to add to this list? What is your worst self-talk and how do you spin it? I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Me: Enjoying life
Him: Someone else's problem

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you. ~ Alfred Adler
Letting go of the outcome is about the most empowering thing you can do for yourself. ~ LosferWords

posts: 1857   ·   registered: May. 7th, 2013   ·   location: Oregon
id 6483764
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kg201 ( member #40173) posted at 12:56 AM on Thursday, September 12th, 2013

Gypsy, these are really good.

I don't have one to contribute, because right now my thought process is more like, "she sucks!"

I guess the one I have used when my anxiety ramps up is one that my sister told me, which is, " that feeling is just adrenaline in the body. It will pass."

Me: BH, 40
Her: Ms. Daisy
Together 18 years, married 15+
LTA 3.5 years, living together
Dday: 7/28/13
Ds17, DS12, DD12
Divorced! 2/24/2015
Apology. You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

posts: 1155   ·   registered: Aug. 4th, 2013
id 6483807
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Phoenix9572 ( member #39987) posted at 2:17 AM on Thursday, September 12th, 2013

I loved your list! I may borrow those if you don't mind.

The only think I can think to contribute is:

NO: Our dreams are dead.

YES: This is my chance to dream big!

Me - 40
WH - 42
Married 18 years
kids - 14, 12
DD - May 13, 2013
DD2 - Aug 4, 2013
DD3 - Aug 27, 2013
Status - Legally separated; really wanted R but don't think that is possible anymore

posts: 103   ·   registered: Jul. 24th, 2013   ·   location: Southern Indiana
id 6483923
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 gypsybird87 (original poster member #39193) posted at 7:52 AM on Thursday, September 12th, 2013

Phoenix, I love that one! Thanks for responding.

Me: Enjoying life
Him: Someone else's problem

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you. ~ Alfred Adler
Letting go of the outcome is about the most empowering thing you can do for yourself. ~ LosferWords

posts: 1857   ·   registered: May. 7th, 2013   ·   location: Oregon
id 6484172
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Kajem ( member #36134) posted at 8:29 PM on Thursday, September 12th, 2013

When things feel out of my control -" this too shall pass"

Patience, patience, patience.

I am learning to rely on myself.

I have my health.

My kids are awesome

Onward and upward

Hugs,

I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - UnknownRelationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

posts: 6708   ·   registered: Jul. 15th, 2012   ·   location: Florida
id 6484901
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npain ( member #33539) posted at 8:34 PM on Thursday, September 12th, 2013

I like you list, gypsy!

except in my case it was:

NO:He chose her over me

YES:I abandoned ship after realizing I was on a share d*ck program and she was the only one who was willing to put up with him. She can keep that mess! I deserve better!

S, Filed 4/17/14--YAY, ME!!

posts: 515   ·   registered: Oct. 6th, 2011   ·   location: New York
id 6484916
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Celticlass ( member #39518) posted at 8:45 PM on Thursday, September 12th, 2013

Love this post!

Recently, I heard a song that includes a line "like a bird I sing cause you have given me the most beautiful set of wings".

It was a breakthrough moment for me because I really realized that it's true! I can do anything and go anywhere, It's all up to me- it is the most exquisite feeling! Makes my soul sing when I repeat it to myself




posts: 72   ·   registered: Jun. 11th, 2013   ·   location: Lone Star State
id 6484940
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