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Helen of Troy posted 9/11/2013 19:48 PM

I am having serious issues with single motherhood. No details. I really don't know what my goal is for this post.
Validation maybe. I'm not sure if I want to feel ashamed of that or not.

shiloe posted 9/11/2013 20:22 PM

((will get by))

I understand. Yes, it is hard. I struggle everyday. But, look, your kids are worth it. I think I only stick around this earth for my kids, they need me. (my dog, cat and old horse need me too, lol)

Mothers really get the sh@t end of the stick in divorce in more ways than one.

I try to remember all the other mothers out there in the same boat as you and I are in and it give me encouragement. It is the way life is. Sucks

jjct posted 9/11/2013 20:33 PM

Please don't feel it's shame for just needing validation as a single mother - please!
The struggles are immense.
I say this as a one-time single father.
Sending strength to you.

tryingagain74 posted 9/11/2013 20:34 PM

I know how you feel. Don't feel ashamed. Raising children can be a struggle when there are two loving, committed parents involved. And while most of us have adjusted to our circumstances, this still isn't what we signed on for, and it sure as heck isn't what my kids deserve. My XWH has NO idea how much his behavior continues to impact the kids on a daily basis. They don't talk to him, so he thinks that everything is hunky-dory.

What's going on, wgb?


Williesmom posted 9/11/2013 20:35 PM


PurpleRose posted 9/11/2013 20:44 PM

Ditto what tryingagain said...

Single motherhood is freaking hard! It's exhausting and frustrating and scary to do it all- especially when you never planned on it.

Hang in there. I understand. I wish I could help...

hexed posted 9/11/2013 22:24 PM


Nothing but hugs. Sometimes things just aren't right.

Thelastknight posted 9/11/2013 22:28 PM

To be honest my kids forced me to keep it together. I stayed focused and worked through a lot of shit.

Iamhappytoday posted 9/11/2013 22:53 PM

(((Will get by)))

You know, you WILL. I think all divorcing primary caregivers experience this to an extent.

I called my mother upset because I just felt I was dropping the ball with the kids because of the raw shock of discovering the affair and him choosing to leave. She said during her divorce when we were young she called it "couch parenting."

Trust me, when I was in HS she went through a baked potato for supper phase
As in three weeks of baked potatoes and nothing else...

We all fail our expectations, but we MUST pick ourselves back up. Sometimes I have stayed low when I didn't need to because I felt so ashamed for being unable to connect. That is getting slowly better.

I don't know if this identifies with you at all. I just know I struggle with it and related to your post.

Maybe instead of guilting myself and setting my self up for more self-recrimination when I fall short, I should say, "I will not be a baked potato mom today!"

(Seriously, you should have seen the condiments my brother and I dished out by week 3).

InTheRabbitHole posted 9/11/2013 23:54 PM

WGB, I am struggling and I don't have any children. You have every right to feel like you do.

I have no advice just lots of hugs (((WGB)))

Helen of Troy posted 9/12/2013 05:45 AM

Thank you all. I appreciate your kind words. Oh and the baked potato mom gave me something to smile about as an extra. Now that's a skill to have; being able to find humor in a situation that feels miserable.
It cheered me up.
These days I go take few minutes to cry in private. It feels like couple years ago only not infidelity related.
This too shall pass.

Bluebird26 posted 9/12/2013 05:49 AM

Yes it will pass Some days are much much harder then others. I've had my extremely low moments trying to do it all. But it does pass.

((Will get by))

NaiveAgain posted 9/12/2013 06:22 AM

Validation maybe. I'm not sure if I want to feel ashamed of that or not.
No, and validation is important. Single parenting is very difficult! There were days I felt like giving up and also days I wondered why I thought having children was a good idea! (I do love my kids and would take a bullet for them, but that doesn't mean they can't make you crazy sometimes!)

((((more hugs))))

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