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So, I was talking to my mil, and she called WH. He supposedly has gone to a dr. out of town today, as he was running a 102 degree fever. I hadn't heard anything of this nature. He was diagnosed with strep and will supposedly be home this weekend.

I am done. I am tired of wondering what he is doing, being lied to, and trying to hold on to hope when there is nothing there.

I sent him a text immediately and told him he needs to think about what he wants for visitation and we need to file for D ASAP.

If he comes home this weekend, we are going to have to talk about the divorce and see if we can come to agreements. If not, I will go from being a stay at home mom, to having to work 2 jobs to get a lawyer and get this shit straight.

However, I REFUSE to live like this, and to be walked all over.

There are not enough words to describe how I feel right now. I have no idea what is going to happen, money being my biggest concern. What did I just do?!

I have tried so very hard to keep my emotions in line, and to stay busy, I just can't do it anymore. He has talked to her all day long, and it didn't cross his mind to call or text and say "hey, I won't be home like I was supposed to , tell the baby I love her." That right there shows me just how little he cares, and that is what set me off of the deep in. I have had a migraine all day, and the last two days have been extremely hard.

How is this my life?! What the hell have I ever done to deserve this?! I don't have time to feel sorry for myself right now, but damn it, I hate him!

You didn't do anything to deserve this, and of course you hate him and that is normal because what he did/does, is affecting you in such a negative way & for the rest of your life.

Right now, he just cares about her. It's all about her and I'm sorry to say that right now, you're an afterthought. It's not right, it's not fair, and it's not even nice.

How did he respond to your text about filing for a divorce, and about visitation? or did he ignore it?

Sometimes, it's all you can do to just breathe from one second to the next.

We teach others how to treat us, but I NEVER taught my husband it was okay to cheat on me!

Stand up for yourself. If you have to be a working single mom, then you will show your child that you have expectations about how a man is to treat a woman, and if the man doesn't step up to the plate, you can make it on your own and do what you have to in order to move on without him.

This is such a difficult road we are all walking, and I just wanted you to know that you're not alone.

[This message edited by Hope2B at 9:48 PM, September 11th (Wednesday)]

He completely ignored it! No response.

Which is exactly what I expected. I don't know if he just doesn't think that I will do anything, that I will just continue to wait around. Or, if he is truly just done and doesn't give a shit.

I know I can do the single mom thing, I did it for 2.5 years, I am just not ready to go back there. Never thought I would have to. I guess reality will set in some more, and I won't have a choice.

Although, hopefully I do things completely differently, and one day she will be proud of me!