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Newest Member: SadDadOf3 (46038)

User Topic: Lawyer appt.
Jesss
♀ 40333
Member # 40333
Default  Posted: 8:59 PM, September 11th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi!
So I made an appointment for a consultation with a lawyer on Friday.
So any advice on what I should tell him?
It's not free, ($300) so I want to make the best of it! But I heard he's the best, and that's what I want and need if I do D.
(My story: 3 kids, no work, no money of my own, no childcare in town, everything in WH name, no friends/ family in town, found out husband has been cheating on dating sites.)


BS: 31, WS: 35
4 kids between 2 and 7yrs old
DDAY 1: July 2013
DDAY 2: Sept 2013
DDAY 3: Oct 2013
DDAY 4: Feb 2014

Posts: 108 | Registered: Aug 2013
jjct
♂ 17484
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 9:14 PM, September 11th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Make notes (before you go)
Take notes (while you're there)

If you have the time and wherewithal?
Visit every other one you can. - they will not be able to represent your H.


Posts: 6838 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
jjct
♂ 17484
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 9:18 PM, September 11th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh, and questions to ask a lawyer (as a search term) got

About 40,100,000 results ...


Posts: 6838 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
Jesss
♀ 40333
Member # 40333
Default  Posted: 10:04 PM, September 11th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks!
Do you mean a google search, or on this site?
I do have some questions, but wasn't sure what to tell the lawyer about the infidelity...


BS: 31, WS: 35
4 kids between 2 and 7yrs old
DDAY 1: July 2013
DDAY 2: Sept 2013
DDAY 3: Oct 2013
DDAY 4: Feb 2014

Posts: 108 | Registered: Aug 2013
woundedby2
♀ 18522
Member # 18522
Default  Posted: 9:20 AM, September 12th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Jesss,

You should probably post your question in the Divorce/Separation forum. That group will have advice for you.

Off the top of my head:

Take all financial documents you have access to: paystubs, tax records, retirement fund statements, bank statements, etc.

Definitely let the atty know about the affair. In some states it matters.


Me: BS
2 kids: DD16 and DS19
Him: The Assclown NPD
OW: "friend" of 15 years
Divorced! Feb. 2010

Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson


Posts: 7866 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: SoCal
Dawn58
♀ 37656
Member # 37656
Default  Posted: 9:29 AM, September 12th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi Jesss,

Boy, our situations sound so similar. No job, no money of my own, husband had an affair and chose to continue it. Fortunately, we did not have any children.

First off, see about getting temporary support so that you have money now to pay bills and get by. Definitely tell the attorney about the affair. Listen to what they have to say - take notes. If they have any advice on the steps you need to take now.

They may advise you to file for divorce first. That's the route I took. I felt like the rug got pulled out from under me (had no idea the affair was going on) and the thought of answering the door to be served divorce paper by him was unacceptable to me. I had to take some action on my own behalf.

Each person finds the answer that works for them.

Post here often and get the support that you need. You are not alone.

((hugs))


I got into the marriage, because I loved him. I got out of the marriage, because I love me.

Posts: 490 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Southern California
1Faith
♀ 38975
Member # 38975
Default  Posted: 9:35 AM, September 12th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

In general terms, check out this link below. It may help. Good luck.


http://www.lfjfs.com/images/article.pdf


"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it." - Maya Angelou

Posts: 1337 | Registered: Apr 2013
tushnurse
♀ 21101
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 9:44 AM, September 12th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Make sure you have information your financial situation, all savings, investments, things you/he own, retirement funds etc.

That threw me when I had my consultation, and was woefully unprepared.

She did however break down how it would all split out. My major concern was the marital home, and custody, and CS. So she was very clear on what would typically happen, and how it would vary in our situation, since H was out of work. ( he had been let go due to the housing market crashing, and no new construction, he was at a 6 figure a year job, selling fine stone for counters, floors, etc).

I was happy I went, because I was toying with the idea of filing to wake him up, but then I found out I would be on the hook for CS because he wasn't working. He was so crazy during that time, I could picture him not going back to work, just so he wouldn't have to pay me CS.

Anyway make alist of what you want to know. How and what things are there to help you since you are SAHM, and have no income.
Take a friend/family member if you can. My sister was my extra set of ears, and it was nice to have the support.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8898 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
Topic Posts: 8

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