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windblown posted 9/12/2013 13:09 PM

We were on a short family vacation this weekend and after swimming we took a shower when I noticed that he had been trimmed down there!

This man who supposedly isn't doing anything with anyone besides me. So, I said, "did u trim your hair?" He said yes. I asked when he did that. Oh last week sometime and hey, we should get out of the shower now or we might be late!

It just burns me! He has never done that our entire 16-year marriage even though I have asked him to. He didn't even say he did it for me or asked me if I liked it. He just couldn't get out of the shower fast enough !

He is really careful about his cheating activities and very tech savvy. I haven't been able to prove anything concrete but I've come close . That's for another post. But this hair trim and acting all guilty. I haven't even brought it up since because I will either be gaslighted or smooth talked. Like the time I could smell a certain scent on his breath and broached the topic and he flat out said I was crazy which sent me on a downward spiral that took a long time to get out of.

There is a special place somewhere for people who treat their loved ones like this

Ellephantastic posted 9/12/2013 13:14 PM

My wbf shaved the little chest hair he has off for ow so I know exactly how you feel.

he also spooned her a lot but never spooned me?

I know don't want those things because they are tainted

windblown posted 9/14/2013 12:23 PM

I'm sorry that has been ruined for you. I really don't understand why they will do something we wanted them to do but do it with the other person instead. And then in the process ruin it for us. My husband in his first ea and with several of the women he know would be all about asking them how their day was or asking them if they were okay if they seemed down or out if sorts or telling them he was there if they needed them but he was most definitely not like that we me. I was pretty much expected to fend for myself and not need anything from him except for what he might want to give.

ButterflyGirl posted 9/14/2013 13:04 PM

When STBX would shave for me, he had *always* wanted kudos for it, always wanting to show it off and get me to "thank" him for it.

A few months before DDay, I noticed he had shaved, and it actually looked like it had grown in somewhat, and he made no big deal of it. I thought it was weird, and it was just another red flag I missed.. Caring about his appearance was definitely something I noticed him doing more, but it never seemed like it was for me..

I would be upset too if I were you.. Hugs..

HurtsButImOK posted 9/14/2013 13:27 PM

My X got me to wax his back for him prior to his hook up with OWumpteen and final DD. Never cared about his back hair before.

The only pleasure I take from it is remembering the small yelps of pain when I ripped the strips off him (it was my first go with at home waxing)

((windblown))

suspicious247 posted 9/14/2013 16:17 PM

My heart goes out to you, I know this feeling all too well. And on vacation to boot. I would be upset too but try not to let it ruin your good time. You can deal with it when you get home.

Hint - key loggers , var. even keep one in your purse and leave it on when you're not around . Leave your purse with him everywhere, gas station, always make excuse to go in to store by yourself so he doesn't have to park and you don't want to walk far/ take wallet only

Ok ok I know you said for another post. Good luck. Hoping its just to spice things up in your relationship