Someone I had contacted back in Atlanta let him know I was digging for information. He told me in no uncertain terms to drop it and leave the past in the past. He then informed me he wouldn’t stand for me ‘messing with HIS marriage’. I, not so politely, told him to F Off and hung up.
How bizarre! He doesn’t want me messing with his marriage? WTF? He is the one that inserted himself in my marriage. From what I have heard, his wife was the one that busted the affair back in ’98 so it’s not like he has to worry about me calling and telling her about it. Too bad she didn’t bother to tell me about it but no sense crying over should of, would of, and could of.
Why is he accusing me of messing with his marriage?
Her 'A' 1994(?) through 1998 D-Day 7/4/2013 Yes, I didn't find out for almost 15 years... but the pain is just as bad as if she were with him last week.
ME - BW - 35 HIM - XWH - 39 D day: November 15th, 2009 Married: 5 Years, together 8 Divorced: December 13th, 2010 New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12
From what I have heard, his wife was the one that busted the affair back in ’98
Perhaps this isn't true and that's why the OM is telling you to stay away?
He is a coward and he is projecting.
He is scared of what other ramifications can occur due to his inexcusable behavior.
Have you spoken to his BW? I might simply call her and let her know you now know.
I did. The OW's BH found out six months before I did of the A and did not contact me. Thought he was saving me the pain (noble but ugh !!).
Once I discovered it, I let him know I knew and wished he'd had contacted me. Water under the bridge but hopefully if his skank of a wife decides to continue her cheating ways then he will notify the next BS.
He then informed me he wouldn’t stand for me ‘messing with HIS marriage’
Irony at it's finest. If he calls again, record it as it could be used as evidence as a threat.
Sorry you have to deal with all the bull associated with their choices and an irrational AP to boot. Did you tell your WW?
Hugs and prayers.
Whoever told you she did may have been misinformed..or they lied.
His wife needs to know..she deserves to know the truth about her marriage..just as you did/do.
Call her...tell her. Don't warn your wife before you do it. She may warn OM.
If his wife does know..there's no harm in you checking to make sure....and it's very possible you..or his BW..will know..info the other doesn't.
..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.
If his wife already knew, then perhaps your wife was not the only affair partner he had. Or, perhaps he has engaged in another affair since then and the BW has just about had her fill of him. You know how it could go: "If I find one more thing, then I'll kick you out of here."
These people drop bombs on someone else's marriage and then cry "foul" when it comes back upon them.
No warnings to your wife...just get the info to the BW. Stay calm and steady. Good luck.
That is EXACTLY what OW told me in an e-mail after I exposed the A to her husband. Takes some nerve, huh??? I will NEVER stop being angry over that one...
tired, I very much doubt his wife knows the full extent of the affair - that's why he's trying to frighten you off. How he has the gall to talk about you messing with his marriage after what he helped to do to yours, literally staggers me - and tells you a hell of a lot about him.
Some just don't get it. Her H accepted her blame shifting and offered forgiveness immediately. My H wasn't her first and surely not her last. But know what - neither of them is my problem. They deserve each other.
Who knows, who cares, if she knows doesn't know. If she did know then, and didn't tell you then shame on her. I certainly wouldn't let him bully you one way or the other, but dgiven the amount of time since it happened I would be tempted to let that sleeping dog lay.
When I e-mailed the OW's husband she called me the next day and told me to "stop bothering her" or she would call the police. WTF..uhhh you kinda bothered me first. She was scared crapless when her husband found out she thought she was safe since it took me almost two years to figure out how to get in touch with him--I'm sure she snowed it over with him and I'm sure told him I was some bat shit crazy woman that was stalking her. Oh well--if I made her squirm for even a day I'm good with that.
Because he is a scumbag, paranoid, piece of shit. Hell, I want to go over to his house and choke him for you.
The truth is, you do not know what the POS's BW is and is not aware of. And if you feel the need to contact her, don't hesitate a minute to do so. If you are pretty certain in your mind that she does already know, and that OM is just running scared, then it is your call on whether to pursue this any further.
I know that it is said not to let the AP take any of our head space, but damn, it is stuff like this---unremorseful pieces of trash---making threats to stay out of THEIR lives, that makes my blood boil.
All work and no play has just cost me my wife--Gary Puckett D-Day: 9/18/09 D-Day#2: 2/19/10 The Marriage Killer: 6/6/11 Heading for D
From what I have heard..
Time to bust out the garden sheers...
