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Newest Member: Confused4 (61103)

User Topic: Dating site scam?
♂ 39885
Member # 39885
Default  Posted: 9:03 PM, September 12th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just for fun I joined a dating website a couple weeks ago. Just to see what's out there. I got a reply from a nice girl (I think) and we exchanged email addresses. She writes pretty well but the grammar was a bit off. I didn't ask but she later claimed to be from Quebec CA and only in country for 6 years or so. I chalked it up to cultural differences. She says she's having phone difficulties so her email is the best way to communicate. I got a really sweet email this morning and was really feeling good about myself when a friend mentioned to beware of online dating scams. The red flags came flying fast and furious as I thought about our three or four email exchanges. The only info she has is my name, email and phone. I signed up for Life Lock today, probably out of panic but I feel protected now. I emailed her and told her my fears and asked her to submit to a background check. Maybe provide some references. Too good to be true I fear. Sexy French accent. No family in country. Not a lot of friends and willing to move if things progress. Good Christian girl. Hints at family money. We shall see what happens. Anybody with experience with online dating scams?

Divorced 7/11/14. New Beginning on the Gulf of Mexico. It's real nice.

Posts: 799 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: The beach.
Member # 35912
Default  Posted: 9:09 PM, September 12th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

""phone difficulties""

if it was 1982

I'm guessing the next step is that she'll ask you for $$ for reinstate her phone

then she'll call and ask you for $$ for her rent...

Posts: 543 | Registered: Jun 2012
♀ 33732
Member # 33732
Default  Posted: 9:12 PM, September 12th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If her emails are flowery & poetic, you can check them out on

This site is great on what to look for as a clue if you are being scammed. They ven have commonly used pictures & names

[This message edited by UndecidedinMA at 9:13 PM, September 12th (Thursday)]

Him - FWSO
OW - DBC Xwife
DDAY 09/14/11 ONS w/DBCxWOW with 4 mos EA
Solidly in R

Posts: 1005 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: MA
♀ 10506
Member # 10506
Default  Posted: 9:43 PM, September 12th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh wow. You need to watch Dr Phil show from 2 days ago. It was all about older women being targeted on dating websites by people in other countries who want to scam them out of money. They target older women because they generally have more savings than younger women. But I am sure that if it happens to women then it happens to men too.

And if you are unable to watch that Dr Phil show (although I bet some of the content is on his website) then watch the show Catfish on MTV. That one mostly has people in their 20's, but the things that are said and the excuses are eerily the same.

Good luck

And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off
-- Shake It Out, Florence And The Machine

Posts: 17695 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: A better place :)
♀ 29250
Member # 29250
Default  Posted: 9:52 PM, September 12th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes! This happened to a good friend of mine. I was very suspicious from the start. He was so sweet to her. Swept her off her feet. He had her going for months. He was supposedly an American working overseas. Then he said he was flying in to see her. He emailed her his flight and everything. She went to the airport and he wasn't on the flight. She called the airline and they said he never got on the flight. After that I knew for sure. He called a few days later, said he was beat up by some foreigners and they took all this money, blah, blah, blah. And could she send him some money so he could get out of the country. Thank God she didn't send any money. This happens a lot so be careful. Personally, I would never start up anything with someone that did not live near me. I'm way too suspicious and I don't see the point in it really. I certainly don't want anyone relocating for me.

“People who cheat feel that life is for the taking, and that everyone deserves happiness no matter what the cost. I must remember these tricks if I ever have my soul surgically removed."
Me: BS 42. Him: WH 41 2 Kids 8&11
Married 14 yrs Together 21

Posts: 1622 | Registered: Aug 2010
♀ 39451
Member # 39451
Default  Posted: 10:36 PM, September 12th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Actually i was chatting with a guy for a month, then i posted in SI people tell me about a lot widower scam.

Did some searching online about the kind of scam on dating site, found out so many red flags described online matching my case.

1.he contacted me first actually emailed me first, he lives on the other side of the country.

2.Suggested we chat via email or Skype, we have been email each other but I never did Skype,
3.he is a widower and has two daughters studying in Europe now.
4.he lives in Ontario, recently went to Japan and Africa for business, he is in African now.
5. he constantly send me pics of him and her daughter.
6. He want to fly here to meet me after we chatted for 3 weeks I told him NO.
7 he asks for my pics and phone numbers, never give to him.

The most scaring thing is he usually send a picture or two first then a long email, telling about his longggggg childhood story.

Then I realize that two email revd the time different 30 seconds, that means the emails was simply copied pasted, no way to type that email in 30 second, and most email revd are mid night. so be very careful!

Who knows how many people are getting the same email.

Wow! wow! Very scaring! Surely should concentrate my time and energy on myself and babies, instead this crap!

M: 10 years both late 40s.
3 Children
DDay: April 2013
Legally separated on Oct 2013.
I am determined to fly even with broken wings and a broken heart!

Posts: 203 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Canada
Grace and Flowers
♀ 34431
Member # 34431
Default  Posted: 11:16 PM, September 12th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When I was on CM (dating site), all I GOT were scammers. Lets see....they all wanted to go right to IM. They were all American or English, all were engineers, most were living on oil platforms in the North Sea, although some were in London. All were widowers with one or two kids. All were coming "home" to the US soon.

And they ALL - every last one of them - used the same "script". Word for word. None of them were fluent in English...some were laughable in their attempts.

It was crazy. But I figured the first one out quickly, and wasn't surprised to soon get others. I never gave them enough of my time to get to the point where they asked for money.

That particular dating site was ONLY SCAMMERS. Afterwards, I generally got one or two per dating site. I must attract this idiocy.

The "real" guys I "met" were either married, or felons, or just I quit.

I think if your gut tells you something...if you FEEL a red flag....believe it. Better safe than sorry.

"Absence makes the clarity grow stronger" - cantaccept

"A good man with good intentions has no reason to lie" - somer222

Posts: 1398 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: US
♀ 25624
Member # 25624
Default  Posted: 6:53 AM, September 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This happens a lot. Not only are their scripts flowery, and pics good-looking, but every one of them were alone-all their family was dead(except maybe 1 young child) and they had grown up in Europe

remarried 11-15-15

Her prize is a man who ran out on his wife and children. His is a woman who is too stupid to understand that she is not special, she is simply there.

Posts: 1784 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: Clover, SC
♂ 39885
Member # 39885
Default  Posted: 8:59 PM, September 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yeah I cut it off. Lesson learned. I'm still way too vulnerable. I'll keep a lid on it for a while. I just like looking at pretty, single blonde girls. Is that a crime?

Divorced 7/11/14. New Beginning on the Gulf of Mexico. It's real nice.

Posts: 799 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: The beach.
♀ 20150
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 2:33 PM, September 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's not a crime, but you need to ask yourself why you're wanting to date so soon after your life implosion.

Why not take some time to figure out who you are and start healing (and getting divorced) before getting emotionally invested in someone new?

You are vulnerable right now and the Nigerian boiler room scammers are out there just waiting for you.

Google 'catfish'. It's an eye-opener.

This girl you've been talking to is probably a guy on a computer with a script in front of him and a quota to meet.

DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 20686 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
♀ 32554
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 2:40 PM, September 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

FaithFool has a really good point about the catfish angle. I have evidence which makes me suspicious my STBX was engaged in catfish activities. These people are out there!

Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!

Posts: 10722 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
♀ 33488
Member # 33488
Default  Posted: 12:35 AM, September 15th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have become adept at spotting the scammers and report them religiously. And yes, they tend to follow the pattern already outlined here.
RED FLAGS - especially when cummulative!
one photo - possibly from a magazine
1 child
great job- often management
Well-educated ( ie: master's degree)
Bizarre self-descriptions that no Caucasion businessman with a master's degree would EVER write.
Over use of capitol letters, such as On All Adjectives.
Foreign grammar- such as "I am in a chemical engineer on lots of oil rig." or "I am like to know you better."
And the piece d' resistance - the ever-present request for correspondence via personal email, and/or phone number.

DONT EVER SEND $ and block immediately if its requested.

True remorse isn't followed by a "but".

Posts: 1809 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: Alberta
Topic Posts: 12

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