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Just for fun I joined a dating website a couple weeks ago. Just to see what's out there. I got a reply from a nice girl (I think) and we exchanged email addresses. She writes pretty well but the grammar was a bit off. I didn't ask but she later claimed to be from Quebec CA and only in country for 6 years or so. I chalked it up to cultural differences. She says she's having phone difficulties so her email is the best way to communicate. I got a really sweet email this morning and was really feeling good about myself when a friend mentioned to beware of online dating scams. The red flags came flying fast and furious as I thought about our three or four email exchanges. The only info she has is my name, email and phone. I signed up for Life Lock today, probably out of panic but I feel protected now. I emailed her and told her my fears and asked her to submit to a background check. Maybe provide some references. Too good to be true I fear. Sexy French accent. No family in country. Not a lot of friends and willing to move if things progress. Good Christian girl. Hints at family money. We shall see what happens. Anybody with experience with online dating scams?

""phone difficulties""
???
possible

if it was 1982

I'm guessing the next step is that she'll ask you for $$ for reinstate her phone

then she'll call and ask you for $$ for her rent...

If her emails are flowery & poetic, you can check them out on pigbusters.net

This site is great on what to look for as a clue if you are being scammed. They ven have commonly used pictures & names

[This message edited by UndecidedinMA at 9:13 PM, September 12th (Thursday)]

Oh wow. You need to watch Dr Phil show from 2 days ago. It was all about older women being targeted on dating websites by people in other countries who want to scam them out of money. They target older women because they generally have more savings than younger women. But I am sure that if it happens to women then it happens to men too.

And if you are unable to watch that Dr Phil show (although I bet some of the content is on his website) then watch the show Catfish on MTV. That one mostly has people in their 20's, but the things that are said and the excuses are eerily the same.

Good luck

Yes! This happened to a good friend of mine. I was very suspicious from the start. He was so sweet to her. Swept her off her feet. He had her going for months. He was supposedly an American working overseas. Then he said he was flying in to see her. He emailed her his flight and everything. She went to the airport and he wasn't on the flight. She called the airline and they said he never got on the flight. After that I knew for sure. He called a few days later, said he was beat up by some foreigners and they took all this money, blah, blah, blah. And could she send him some money so he could get out of the country. Thank God she didn't send any money. This happens a lot so be careful. Personally, I would never start up anything with someone that did not live near me. I'm way too suspicious and I don't see the point in it really. I certainly don't want anyone relocating for me.

Actually i was chatting with a guy for a month, then i posted in SI people tell me about a lot widower scam.

Did some searching online about the kind of scam on dating site, found out so many red flags described online matching my case.

1.he contacted me first actually emailed me first, he lives on the other side of the country.

2.Suggested we chat via email or Skype, we have been email each other but I never did Skype,
3.he is a widower and has two daughters studying in Europe now.
4.he lives in Ontario, recently went to Japan and Africa for business, he is in African now.
5. he constantly send me pics of him and her daughter.
6. He want to fly here to meet me after we chatted for 3 weeks I told him NO.
7 he asks for my pics and phone numbers, never give to him.

The most scaring thing is he usually send a picture or two first then a long email, telling about his longggggg childhood story.

Then I realize that two email revd the time different 30 seconds, that means the emails was simply copied pasted, no way to type that email in 30 second, and most email revd are mid night. so be very careful!

Who knows how many people are getting the same email.

Wow! wow! Very scaring! Surely should concentrate my time and energy on myself and babies, instead this crap!

When I was on CM (dating site), all I GOT were scammers. Lets see....they all wanted to go right to IM. They were all American or English, all were engineers, most were living on oil platforms in the North Sea, although some were in London. All were widowers with one or two kids. All were coming "home" to the US soon.

And they ALL - every last one of them - used the same "script". Word for word. None of them were fluent in English...some were laughable in their attempts.

It was crazy. But I figured the first one out quickly, and wasn't surprised to soon get others. I never gave them enough of my time to get to the point where they asked for money.

That particular dating site was ONLY SCAMMERS. Afterwards, I generally got one or two per dating site. I must attract this idiocy.

The "real" guys I "met" were either married, or felons, or just liars....so I quit.

I think if your gut tells you something...if you FEEL a red flag....believe it. Better safe than sorry.

This happens a lot. Not only are their scripts flowery, and pics good-looking, but every one of them were alone-all their family was dead(except maybe 1 young child) and they had grown up in Europe

Yeah I cut it off. Lesson learned. I'm still way too vulnerable. I'll keep a lid on it for a while. I just like looking at pretty, single blonde girls. Is that a crime?

It's not a crime, but you need to ask yourself why you're wanting to date so soon after your life implosion.

Why not take some time to figure out who you are and start healing (and getting divorced) before getting emotionally invested in someone new?

You are vulnerable right now and the Nigerian boiler room scammers are out there just waiting for you.

Google 'catfish'. It's an eye-opener.

This girl you've been talking to is probably a guy on a computer with a script in front of him and a quota to meet.

FaithFool has a really good point about the catfish angle. I have evidence which makes me suspicious my STBX was engaged in catfish activities. These people are out there!

I have become adept at spotting the scammers and report them religiously. And yes, they tend to follow the pattern already outlined here.
RED FLAGS - especially when cummulative!
Good-looking
one photo - possibly from a magazine
widowed
1 child
religious
off-shore
great job- often management
Well-educated ( ie: master's degree)
Bizarre self-descriptions that no Caucasion businessman with a master's degree would EVER write.
Over use of capitol letters, such as On All Adjectives.
Foreign grammar- such as "I am in a chemical engineer on lots of oil rig." or "I am like to know you better."
And the piece d' resistance - the ever-present request for correspondence via personal email, and/or phone number.

DONT EVER SEND $ and block immediately if its requested.