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User Topic: Divorce Decree
♀ 27886
Member # 27886
Default  Posted: 9:38 PM, September 12th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I received my divorce decree in the mail today. I have been divorced for two weeks and didn't even know it. Is this how it usually is? I thought I would have to sign something, go over everything and make sure it is correct. We had a court hearing in May and the judge ruled in July. Both my ex and I decided not to appeal. It seems like all the logistics are in our ball park now. What do lawyers do? And the lawyer wrote "Congratulations". He knew I never wanted the divorce I just had no choice given my ex refused to reconcile.

Posts: 96 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: Pennsylvania
♀ 38735
Member # 38735
Default  Posted: 10:15 PM, September 12th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think it varies by state and whether there was a trial or not. We are doing everything outside of court, so mine will be just like yours. I'll get notified by mail.

I'm sorry that this is hard for you. My STBX didn't even attempt R either. I'm actually grateful now though. In glad I didn't have to ride the R roller coaster as I don't think it would have worked for us anyway.


BW - Me (40)
XWH -The Gnat
"Engaged" to OW, but the wedding appears to be indefinitely postponed.
M for 8 years, together for 10
1 DD (8), 1 DS (3)
Dday 3/13
Happily Divorced 9/20/13

Posts: 1270 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: AZ
♀ 36060
Member # 36060
Default  Posted: 12:56 PM, September 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes. Did you have a trial? If you had a trial, then it doesn't matter whether you agree or not, it is whatever the judge said.

If you had a hearing in May, maybe a pre-trial or a settlement discussion, then your lawyer would have submitted a draft judgment entry at that time. Your opportunity to comment was during the settlement negotiations.

As for the logistics, it depends. Often the transfer of significant sums of money will got from atty to atty in an escrow account. If you're getting a retirement account distribution, there will be an order (qdro) issued for that. If any personal property was awarded in the decree, that's down to you and xh to work out.

Congrats is a risky thing to say. I wouldn't. Yikes.

BS-Me 30s
WS-Him 30s
D-Day 4/2012 (Insisted EA only)
D-Day 5/2012 (Did I say EA? Ummm..)
Numerous other TT/broken NC d-days until S 1/2013. D settled 11/2013
MOW-coworker, 40s.
2 DS and DD all w/autism

Posts: 751 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: USA
♀ 10506
Member # 10506
Default  Posted: 2:47 PM, September 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It is different in every state and can also vary from county to county within the state.

I did not go to court for the final hearing. There was a prelim hearing that I went to and my L presented the signed settlement at that time. A couple of months later there was a final hearing but I did not have to attend. However my L called me on the day of the final hearing and tole me I was D. I am pretty certain he did NOT say congratulations, like I won the lotto or something

That day I had super mixed emotions. I was sad that my M had ended, but on the other hand I was glad that the whole D ordeal was behind me. It was a hard day.


And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off
-- Shake It Out, Florence And The Machine

Posts: 17695 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: A better place :)
Member # 8275
Default  Posted: 4:11 PM, September 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We signed the agreement a few weeks before the court date, so did not have to appear.

I had moved out of the marital home on August 31. At the time did not have a smartphone. When I got my internet hooked up on Sept 2, I had an EMAIL from my lawyer that my divorce was final August 20. Wow.

Like Dreamboat, it was a tough day.

Posts: 361 | Registered: Sep 2005
Topic Posts: 5

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