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Newest Member: 2ndtimernd (45746)

User Topic: i dont know what to do
whydoistay
♀ 40661
Member # 40661
Default  Posted: 10:42 PM, September 12th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I want out of this mess of a marriage, but financial cant do anything. I found out he once again and cheated on me, i found out in june, and tonight I was told by a girl that he asked her to go out side one night we were all out and I was even there. I do not no where to turn.


Connie Moore

Posts: 1 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Iowa
Broken1Again
♀ 32211
Member # 32211
Default  Posted: 10:57 PM, September 12th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi there,

First things first, if that is your real name feel free to change it. The site is completely anonymous and you don't have to post your name and maybe from sheer protection of yourself, you should remove it.

Secondly; sorry you have found the need to be here :( I will tell you that your husband sounds like mine. Both serial cheaters with no morals. My husband it seems just wants to cheat with anyone and everyone. I don't get it. It seems your WS is the same.

I am scared as well at the financial mess I would find myself in and at the back lash WS would cause if we D. But in the same breath, we are stronger and more resilient then we give ourselves credit for. Think about it, you've survived this long married to an a$$ you can survive not being married to him.


BS: 40
WS: 42
Two boys 13/11
Married 15 years
Dday: too Many to remember. 3 significant OW and many "less"'significant OW. Believe WS has bad boundaries and craves the attention.
In R.

Posts: 883 | Registered: May 2011
Alexa
♀ 40324
Member # 40324
Default  Posted: 12:35 AM, September 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes, you can survive without him. Think of how miserable you will be if you stay. I'm in a similar situation and I just put mine out the door tonight. Put those bitch boots on and kick hard. He needs to see what life is like without you and your children, if you have any. Maybe then he will open up his eyes. Don't be his enabler and allow him to disrespect you. The nerve he has to do that at events you are attending together.

Be strong!! You can do anything you set your mind to. Do not let him think you need him because you don't want, need or deserve to be treated with anything but respect.

Do your research but there are places that you can go to for help. I know. I am a landlord and there are plenty of agencies that I have worked with over the years.

Whatever you do, just prepare yourself beforehand. It will not be easy but you need to do what is best for you. Remember we are here for you!


Me: BS 45
Him: POS 51
D-day #1 Aug 5, 2013 (2 years) clueless the 1st yr, suspicious the 2nd
D-day #2 Aug 19, 2013 (there were many more)
D-day #3 10 years worth of A/ONS
Married 21 years (not sure if we'll make 22)
2 kids, 16 and 13

Posts: 40 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Michigan
Josephine01
♀ 38511
Member # 38511
Default  Posted: 12:40 AM, September 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((whydoistay))))))

We understand. . . I am so sorry you have to deal with this situation. Turn to us. . .


Me, 42 BS
H, 61 WH
2 boys 19 and 15 years old
Married 24 years

Posts: 314 | Registered: Feb 2013
kansas1968
♀ 32214
Member # 32214
Default  Posted: 1:35 AM, September 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well, I read your profile and I think you are right, you need out of the marriage. He is a serial cheater with no remorse, will continue to do it until he dies. You need to be away from it. You need peace. You need automy. You need to feel in control of your life. I don't know what the financial situation is, but being poor is a lot better than living with a person that causes you constant stress and upset.

Keep posting. You will get all of the support you need here. Love and hugs and hugs, K


Me - BS
Him - FWS
DD - December 14, 2010
Married 43 years 1/14/2011
Affair lasted 7+ years
Affair had been over for 2 years before I found out. OW sent me a letter.

Posts: 1320 | Registered: May 2011 | From: Kansas
crazynot
♀ 24572
Member # 24572
Default  Posted: 1:42 AM, September 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You just don't know how much better you'll feel with him gone. I was married to a serial cheater too and yes I have huge financial problems but my life, sanity and heart are my own.


Me - 50
Him - 51
DDay 21 March 2009
Divorcing and delighted!

Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it.


Posts: 905 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: UK
Topic Posts: 6

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