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he won't retain a lawyer

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soveryweary posted 9/13/2013 05:13 AM

So STBX has decided not to go ahead and agree with the terms we had decided on 3 months ago.
He had a list of stipulations for me this morning, I say no way!!
So he tells me he will not get a lawyer, he will drag this on forever.
I am scheduled to move out in a couple of weeks.
If he won't get a lawyer, am I doomed to having to agree to his terms to get this divorce finalized?

nomistakeaboutit posted 9/13/2013 05:44 AM

No. You now get a lawyer and proceed with the D. Your H may THINK he is all powerful, but he is not. He doesn't get to simply choose to "drag it out forever".

YOU choose to get a good lawyer.
YOU choose to proceed.
YOU choose to the let legal process follow it's natural course, which BTW, is not "forever".
YOU choose to NOT communicate any of this to your STBXWH.

You can do it. Good luck.

7yrsflushed posted 9/13/2013 07:39 AM

^^^^What nomistakeaboutit said!

You go get a lawyer, WITHOUT, telling your WH and get the process going yourself. Good luck, you will get through this.

ChoosingHope posted 9/13/2013 07:46 AM

Yes you need to get a good lawyer to represent you ASAP.

My STBX refused to get an attorney. He refused all our settlement offers. Tomorrow I will be separated for TWO YEARS and there is no end in sight to my divorce. We can't mediate or settle with him, so we're in the court system.

I'm living a nightmare. The biggest problem is that there is no voice of reason on his side. If he had an attorney, we could work with that person. But not with him. He's proven over and over again that he's impossible.

So your divorce may be more difficult than others if your STBX doesn't hire someone to represent him. Find the best attorney you can for yourself - you'll probably need it. Good luck, and I hope you hear happier stories here than mine!!!

Thelastknight posted 9/13/2013 07:49 AM

Okay, go forward with divorce.

roughroadahead posted 9/13/2013 08:23 AM

As others have said, get yourself a lawyer. If he wants to be pro se, he can have at it. Whatever. It won't last forever, but be prepared for the process to be subject to more delays and missteps than usual, and for it to potentially (if not likely) end in trial. Also give your lawyer a heads up about the pro se/delay thing so s/he knows what they're dealing with.

[This message edited by roughroadahead at 8:23 AM, September 13th (Friday)]

Dreamboat posted 9/13/2013 08:53 AM

He does not need a L for you to get a D. It may take longer and be more difficult, but it is not required.

Get a L, file for D, and have YOUR L present his ass with a settlement agreement. Sometimes a stbx has no issue trying to bully their former partner but get scared by a L. In may case, my X did not get a L and had no issue lying to me. But every time my L contacted him he got right in line. Of course it cost $ to get my L to prod him along, but to me it was the best money I have ever spent.

soveryweary posted 9/13/2013 10:35 AM

I do have a lawyer. I retained him. It was suppose to be an amicable divorce. He signed the papers. What a farce!! He did an about face. If he won't agree to the settlement, the money paid to the lawyer goes down the drain.
Going to see my oawyer next week and hopefully get rid of this gigantic tumor soon.
Thanks for the support and replies.

nowiknow23 posted 9/13/2013 10:49 AM

SVW - Which papers did he sign?

hathnofury posted 9/13/2013 16:13 PM

SVW - I don't know if this will help you now, but when I got my post nup signed and WH chose to represent himself, I had it videotaped by a court reporting agency with notary present. I strongly suggest anyone having any sort of "amicable" agreement signed do this because that's always one of the first bag of tricks - to say they signed the doc under duress.

Catwoman posted 9/13/2013 17:31 PM

I would file and get temporary orders. This way, you are protected, he has obligations and you can then let him drag it out as long as he likes. I did this with my ex and h finally capitulated once TwatWaffle put the hurt on him to get things done.


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