Having yet another down day. I miss my life and my husband oh so much. Thinking into the future and how he will not be there is so confusing and devastating.
I have been really busy but I still cannot shake the constant feeling of loneliness. I want to feel loved by him again. I wish I understood where it went. He was showing me love days before he left.
At this time last year we were going away on a romantic weekend. An continued with those weekends throughout the winter. I honestly still cannot see a marriage that fell apart.
I want there to be a way to wake him the f*** up to the reality. I have not pursued him for almost 2 weeks now. No initiating conversation or texts. And he has been quiet on his end as well. Only texting or calling regarding pick up and drop off for the kids. Last night I did text him thanking him to teaching our son to pee while standing ( lol big accomplishment) then he started texting back asking how they were feeling and he said he was sick too and then asked how work was for me and I replied and then it stopped.
I know I shouldn't want a man who cheated left and still doesn't want our M but I cannot shake the feeling that this isn't the end.
I need hope to hold onto. Happy stories or advice.
I am trying to take it day by day but everything I have everything I do, involved him. Work is my happy place at the moment. I can get lost here in doing what I love and I know eventually I will get by doing other things without thinking of him.
But there was just nooooo warning that he wasnt happy or didnt feel the same way. So I am just hoping he realizes he was wrong and his feelings are still there.
