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Just found out and I was pregnant - my story in its entirety.

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Seekingguidance1 posted 9/13/2013 14:58 PM

I've been with my cheating husband for 15 years an married for 8. Shortly after we wed in 2005, we had 2 children together at the time, 3 mo later he cheated (one night stand) and told me about it a week later. Crying and saying it was a mistake an he'd never do it again. I forgave him. In 2008 we had our 3rd baby. i guess i kinda thought it would help us heal. Fast forward to 2011, I find sex emails with another "friend" of ours. Confronted him, he said he'd never do it again. 2012 he convinces me to have threesomes. I reluctantly give in in fear that he'll go do it on his own if I say no. We start partying and I quickly realize we are spiraling down hill. I confront him and end the partying but we are both still healing when I get pregnant with our 4th April 2012. All last year I thought we were healing together only to find FB emails that told a whole different story.
Aug. 11th I find something suspicious and see emails flirting with a girl. Not that serious but when I went back to look at it, he had erased it. At this point I'm thinking there is more, a lot more hes hiding. So I confront him. He says he's sorry and its nothing but I start bringing up the past and we argue. I believe him but have an overwhelming feeling he's still lying. So I get private investigator on his ass and slowly start uncovering email after email
Aug.12 - Aug 29 : he assures me he's telling me the truth but after each email I find, he THEN admits to each one.
Aug 29: I hit the jackpot and find emails from a girl dared 6/2012... I stop and think "wtf?! I was pregnant then!!!!" This is like a stab the heart. He'd met up with this girl while I was pregnant, slept with her and held an online relationship for several months. I'm broken. Truly heart broken. I almost leave him right then and there but thought of my children and stayed, trying to work things out. For the last 2 weeks I've been crying and secluded in a room still feeling like there is more.
Sept 12: I threaten to get phone records and tell him I still think he's lying and tell him to tell me everything before I look at all the records. He admits to me everything starting in 2011 when we had just ha our 1st child. There were 2 woman he actually slept with, several girls he had met with the intention but never got the opportunity and countless emails and texts/ pics. I'm completely heartbroken. I loved this man and have been deceived for the last 12 years!! And now he wants me to stay. I see a pattern were alcohol was the root of the problem in every instance and he stopped drinking Aug. 31st. He assures me he I a changed man but I just can't get over the fact that even up to 24 hrs ago, he was still LYING!! My intuition is telling me he's finally telling the truth and really wants to change but I don't know if I should stay for the kids or put my foot down and say fuck it and split up our family?! I'm lost and confused! :( he keeps saying he'll do anything. Gave me all his email logins and FB account info, is doing anything I ask and willing to go to counseling. I need advice! Do I try again? Or throw our 15 years away?

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