[This message edited by momwith2boys at 9:14 PM, September 13th (Friday)]
Sometimes during R, you have the feeling it's not over and it's your emotions getting the best of you - if you feel this way then look at the facts and look at it logically. How my fWH and I did is he would give me key words of comfort and enumerate what he's done recently and so far during R to be a better person. Honestly he continues to do this and doesn't mind doing this forever so long as he sees improvement that I am not harping on the past either. Since we're in true R, that helped us move forward for 5 years now.
Do I worry after 5 years? When you get to the point that you respect yourself again, have confidence again, etc. Even if A happens again, it doesn't matter anymore. I know what to do. In my case, I know to leave and never look back with my head up high that I tried my damndest for my marriage.
Now I ask you, do all the facts add up that you are in true R with him per his actions? If the answer is no...
Hugs your way.
True love is harder to come by than soul mates. True love requires work.
Ignorance can be cured with knowledge. There is no cure for being an idiot.
My WH took the A way underground - with a secret cell.
It's been over a year now and sometimes I question whether he's gotten another phone, etc.
His actions show otherwise, of course. I believe it has ended but of course I have my bad days...
Now, I am stronger. I don't check up on him that frequently. I trust - but verify.
I'm now at a point that I truly think and believe he would never sacrifice all the work and hardships we've been through. Again.
But - I am now strong enough to know that I have done everything I can to save our marriage. We've done MC and IC.
If he wants to go down that road again - he's on his own and I know I'll be OK.
Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice, pack your shit and get out.
Fool me once - Shame on you. Fool me twice - pack your shit and get out.
It sucks always being paranoid and vigilant.
Sending you hugs!