I realize that some of you are dealing with APs and Ospouses who are monsters. They are cruel, manipulative, abusive, and shouldn't help with raising a goldfish, let alone your children. My kids get along with the Owife and her children, and for their sake, I am thankful.
Things have been going well because the Owife and I have had zero contact, and I haven't really had to deal with anything other than having her stray into my line of vision on a couple of occasions.
However, now it seems as though she's going to play at being devoted stepmommy and be sure that I know. These are, perhaps, small and stupid things, but I have to vent them here so that I can move on and not stew about them all weekend. It helps when I write things down because it often forces me to acknowledge how whatever I'm fuming about really isn't a big deal.
So, she's done two things that make me feel like she's marking her territory and trying to bring to my attention that she's such a good stepmom:
I have kids on special diets. For health reasons, I often label certain containers or put their names on their sandwich bags so that I don't have to worry that someone got the wrong thing. I just write their names with a marker; it's nothing fancy.
Well, doesn't the Owife do the same thing (fine, no biggie), but doesn't she just have to draw little hearts around their names as well. Oh... right! Because you LOVE them! You love them so much that you thought nothing of screwing their father while he was married to their mother! Clearly, you put their needs and well-being first. Clearly. Those cutesy little hearts show what a caring, loving Ashley Madison-recruited stepmommy you are.
Then, today at drop off, XWH came out (like he usually does), and doesn't she finally make her grand appearance! She just had to come out on the porch and start chatting with my kids while I'm saying goodbye. Oh... right. Because you care so much about them that you can't stand one second more of waiting in the house and being away from them, even if it's the sensitive thing to do considering how your relationship came to be with them. I had to keep my Mona Lisa smile plastered on my face so that I maintained my dignity.
I know that these things seem like no big deal. Many of you have been dealing with far worse crap. It's just hard for me to watch as the wheels start in motion. A hopeful little part of me thought that maybe, just maybe, those two fools would have the brains not to compete with me. I'm not competing. Buy them what you want, pretend that you dote on them, draw hearts all over as much as you want. Not only will you not change how I think of you, but you will never change what my kids think about me. And it will never change what you've done, and the little children who are snowed by you right now will not stay little forever.
I've taught high school long enough to see how much things can change when kids become teenagers. At least if my kids become difficult in their teen years, I can parent with the full weight of my integrity and honesty. I am not a liar. I have told my kids about mistakes I've made in the past and owned up to them so that they don't make the same ones. What they see is what they get. Teenagers don't like liars and hypocrites, and they are pretty good at seeing right through them. Draw as many hearts as you like. They won't be fooled.
Thanks for reading this essay. I feel a lot better!