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Sooo as you may know seeing me crap on for a few... weeks about DDAY....

ITSSSSS HERE!!!!!!

I feel GREAT, all week I've been really fucking sad. But today WH got me a mocha (YUMMMM). It's only 8:47 am here but you know what am feeling so good!

Got some crappy jewelry, new heels (they're going to be a bitch to where... it is so hard getting nude heels!) Have a industry party tonight. Seeing my MIL and his auntie today (won't feel so alone). And these days I just see my MIL as a great source of entertainment.

I am going to feel very sad when he performs his song about the affair, but it is not like he can drop it and you know what... I'm going to rephrase it. There is a REASON why everyone likes that song, and he can't drop it. Because I am NOT ALONE, WE ARE NOT ALONE.

Unfortunately we may even be the majority.

Oh and I should make it clear, this is my domestic violence dday, not affair dday. (But they are intertwined, his IC says he was projecting the rage and abuse onto me... whatever don't understand but love his IC)

I'M EVEN GOING TO WEAR A NECKLACE!!! and jumper (it's winter here and I've been freezing cause wearing a jumper triggers me as it rubbs against my neck.)

Yay!

(you can all be prepared for this plane to crash and burn btw, but I'll be happy for now)

Hugs your way.

Necklace isn't going so well, I'm sort of hyperventilating and yeah... I'm going to keep it on for now. It's our marriage necklace (every year is an opal on the necklace).

Isn't going so well for me atm

Sorry just good to get it off my chest so to speak

I know this is weird but it's really helpful.

listened to the darkness "i believe in a thing called love"

Have bag packed. My hair looks awesome! Rashes from showering died down (haha check OT if interested)

Necklace hyperventalating has died down however feels very tight (even though it's a long hanging one)

Perfume on

Ready to see inlaws, gift for inlaws done

fake smile on

Ready to see ex friend who now hates me (done)

Ready for wh crisis of confidence. Done

Nailpolish half done and given up Done

okay ready to go... don't want to go... but ready

I hope the rest of the night got better.

How are you doing today?

I hope it went well and you had some things to smile about. You deserve it....

Hey sorry finally had a momment

was quite weird

ex friend: first conversation since her dday and was about small things but okay

necklace: got better after awhile but yeah not going to be a permanent feature

Told one of wh mentors about what happened she's a BW too but very different circumstance. it was great to tell my first IRL person who understood.

His mum, was awful such a shock to the system everytime I see her! All the lying and backstabbing about his dad (they are divorced). And then when WH left to go speak to some friends she then said awful things to make me hate his dad!

Completely unwarranted and came out of nowhere. Need to remember this for his IC. Need to get him to book a freaking counsellor appointment too! (He has been dragging the train for 2 months now...)

Last time I saw her she wasn't so bad. Thought she had improved... but no

As a complete aside my new shoes caused MASSIVE BLISTERS! (was in them for 14 hours). I actually can't walk properly in them!!! it's like a... waddle?

[This message edited by lauren123 at 5:53 AM, September 15th (Sunday)]