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Hope2B (original poster member #40474) posted at 1:18 AM on Saturday, September 14th, 2013
We have an appt with our parish priest for Monday. I ask WS to disclose anything else that's the truth so I'm not blindsided by anything when we see our priest, because it's one thing to lie to me, but he'll go straight to hell if he lies to our priest.
He said the A had been going on for 4 years. FOUR years of me being oblivious.
What an asshole. I was clueless. FOUR years and I trusted him when he said he was going to the movies.
Four years and now he tells me he was going over to her apartment, and then to her new apartment, and they also continued doing it in her car/truck, and really, I don't even know if that's the truth. He met her at a party at "Fred's" house (I was invited but didn't go) and they hit it off. Oh goody.
How trusting was I ? A lot.
Not any more. He can kiss that shit goodbye.
I am so pissed.
DDay: Feb. 25, 2013Trickle Truth/DDays: Sept 10, 11, 13, 15 (2013)
1devastedmom ( member #38399) posted at 1:46 AM on Saturday, September 14th, 2013
I am so sorry. I understand your pain. My husband lied to me for months before I found out the truth. 15 years of prostitutes. I felt like such an idiot for not figuring it out sooner. Some days it's too much to bare.
PositiveAttitude ( member #40624) posted at 1:49 AM on Saturday, September 14th, 2013
How trusting was I ? A lot.
My husband carried on with OW for almost 3 years, and even though I thought it was possible a time or two had no idea it was actually going on! I was completely trusting, and if it hadn't been for her desperate need for me to know . . . I'd still be in the dark.
I will never fault someone for trusting their spouse. Hell, I trust mine again - and he still misses the OW. So how naive am I?
Hugs to you!
BW - 44 - SAHM
WH - 45 - 3 year LTA
Blended family - 2 school aged "ours" children left at home.
DDay (which one?) all in 2013
Reconciling - as best we can
sad12008 ( member #18179) posted at 4:36 PM on Saturday, September 14th, 2013
Don't ever feel like you were oblivious because you trusted the person who vowed to be trustworthy and always have your back. Spouses of both genders get raked over the coals for being too "controlling" or "jealous" or other have other negative things attributed to them if they DON'T exhibit 100% blind trust, but then get ridiculed for being "blind to what was going on under their noses". Each is mutually exclusive, thus it is an unwinnable situation.
You can't fill a cup with no bottom.
Gr8Lady ( member #36307) posted at 11:48 PM on Sunday, September 15th, 2013
Marriage is a commitment and bond of trust. So it would be reasonable to trust your husband. That is what marriage should be. Choosing to lie and be unfaithful to our partner is not what we expect from our partner.
Don't be hard on yourself for trusting, husband lowered his standards when he chose to be untrustworthy, breaking the bonds of marriage by infidelity.
BS: Me (70yo)FWH: HIM (72 yo)) serial infidelities over past 35 years
DD: Multiple unconfirmed until 2013
friends wife lasting 10 years. TT over a
year a year. Now his health is declining,
among the lack of communication.
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