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betrayedme2 (original poster member #40639) posted at 2:26 AM on Saturday, September 14th, 2013
Sorry, but I didn't want to hijack the below thread. My wife is the one who cheated on me. Dday was in January, '13. She had a OBGYN appt soon after Dday, regularly scheduled. I told her she needed to be tested for std's. After the appointment I asked, and she said she asked her doctor about std's and the doctor said they always test for that. Later she recvd her lab results and she said everything looked clean? Does this sound right? Anything I need to know?
dday: 1/19/13
ME: mid 40's
WW: low 40'3
2 daughters, 17, 21
Reconciling
doesitgetbetter ( member #18429) posted at 2:30 AM on Saturday, September 14th, 2013
Nope. The OBGYN never does STD tests automatically unless there is a pregnancy involved, and even then it's only once, not every visit.
Never believe a liar, ask for paper proof from the doc that the tests were done and is "clean".
DDay - Dec '07
Me - BS
Him - WS
Us - working on R - again
May 18, 2010 - I forgave him fully!
D-day 2 July 4, 2015, turns out he is a SAWH, status, working harder than before
May 22, 2019 -slip/relapse. He forgot he has to work forever
TheRealDeal ( member #39560) posted at 2:32 AM on Saturday, September 14th, 2013
this is based on my own personal experience. Others may say differently.
My yearly OBGYN visit does not routinely include STD testing.
The only STD testing that might be included is for HPV virus since that is collected using same method as pap-smear.
gonorrhea, syphyllis, HIV, and other STD testing? nope, has never been included in my yearly visit.
Ask her to see the written results. Those would show the exact tests that were performed.
Me (BS): 47 him (Xws): 55
together 18 years
DDay1, DDay2, Dday 3: March - June 2013
Dday4 + June 2015 through January 2016
Status: done I called it quits 1-6-2016
The hardest part of letting go is realizing there wasn't much left to hold on to
hangingontohope7 ( member #20024) posted at 2:38 AM on Saturday, September 14th, 2013
No. This is not something that they automatically test for when you go for a regular/annual visit. You have to ask for a full work up. Different std's require different tests, both cultures and blood work.
I should add that I remember, for myself, they did test for chlamydia when I turned 25 as part of my annual exam. And they test for hpv typically when you turn 30.
Hope that helps.
Me: BW
DDay #1 Tried R
DDAY #2 Divorcing
Burn everything love then burn the ashes.
mchercheur ( member #37735) posted at 4:44 AM on Saturday, September 14th, 2013
betrayedme2,
Protect yourself.
Cheaters lie. Do not take her word for anything. You need to go get tested yourself to make sure she did not give you anything. Some diseases that are passed sexually are life threatening.
Me: BW; Him: WH --Had 10 mo. EA/ PA with COW; Dday 5/2011 Married 35 years/Together 36 years/4 kids together, and 1 grandbaby; OW 20 years younger than us/divorced no kids Trying to R; don't know what the final outcome will be
Skan ( member #35812) posted at 5:42 AM on Saturday, September 14th, 2013
Bull-honk. STDs are NOT routinely tested for, neither is HIV. You need to insist that she have a full STD/HIV panel run, that she make the follow-on appointments for the re-testing which must be done on at least the HIV panel, and that the doctor convey the results directly to you.
She's lying. Unless her doctor is working in the porn industry, NO doctor routinely tests for these diseases.
Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.
D-Day, June 10, 2012
cluless ( member #40538) posted at 10:47 PM on Sunday, September 15th, 2013
Last year when I went in for my annual, I asked to be tested, even then I was told there wasn't a PA. Problem was, we hadn't had sex SINCE he was with her, so now I have to do it again. He said he would go in and ask for it, I'm not sure if that will be enough to protect me. 
WH 57
BS 55 -- Me!
LTA EA/PA 1-1/2 years.
D-Day 8-12, 2nd D-Day 9-13, 3rd D-Day 10-13 (stopped counting tt still coming in)
Married 17 yrs, together 20.
MC & IC has been a JOKE.
Status: We're going to try IC one more time.
traicionada ( member #10310) posted at 4:15 AM on Monday, September 16th, 2013
I run a community health center in a high incidence urban area so GC/Chlamydia is routine for annual exams for sexually active patients. A full STD panel is only done when there's clinical indication
Real love is a CHOICE, NOT a feeling...
kickboxer ( member #39858) posted at 8:06 AM on Monday, September 16th, 2013
I've never had a routine annual exam that included any STD testing. The only time an STD panel was added was at the initial prenatal care visit for each of my three pregnancies.
BW - 42 (Me)
WH - 39 (2 ONS, 6m EA)
Married 15 years, 3 children
DD: 7/13/13
Status: Rugsweeping, I guess.
tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 2:52 PM on Monday, September 16th, 2013
Um nope doesn't sound right.
Even if you live in an area where there are high incidents of certain STD's those are usually the only ones they test for in addition to the traditional PAP, for example some of the younger GYN's in my area test all paps for HPV, it's fairly prevlent, and the problems it causes down the road are significant.
Other STD's, Hepatitis, and HIV primarily can only be tested for by a blood draw, if she didn't get stuck she hasn't been tested. Ask her to contact the Dr for a comprehensive tests that he/she performed at the last visit. In the meantime, make an appt to see your dr, and get yourself tested.
Seriously, by the time you start having issues with hepatitis, damage has been done to your liver. Whereas if you are tested for it, and diagnosed early treatment, and cure can be good with minimal damage.
(((and strength)))
Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.
Kelany ( member #34755) posted at 3:01 PM on Monday, September 16th, 2013
She lied to you.
You have to ask for a full STD panel. The only thing they "routinely" test for during an annual pap smear is HPV.
There is still:
HIV
Hepatitis
Herpes
Chlamydia
Gonorrhea
Syphilis
Trichomoniasis
This will require vaginal swabs, blood tests and possibly a urine test.
BS - Me
SA/FWH Him
DDay 1 - Jul 11
DDay 2 - Jul 12
R Dec 12
Former 80s Icon wishful thinking
betrayedme2 (original poster member #40639) posted at 4:35 PM on Monday, September 16th, 2013
Thank you for all who responded!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Another proof that if it doesn't sound right, it probably isn't.
dday: 1/19/13
ME: mid 40's
WW: low 40'3
2 daughters, 17, 21
Reconciling
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