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click4it posted 9/14/2013 04:36 AM

My ex-h put up a new TV my parents generously got me for my birthday.

While he was here, my kids were kind of talking to me and him and they always get jittery when my he and I are in the same room for longer than 5 mins, which is understandable - given the past. As I cleaned up the area, I just observed how arrogant he is and how is jokes just aren't funny anymore. I remember a time when I idolized this man and he was my total best friend. Now, I look at him and think wow, you really are a jerk in the things you say about people and just in general. Its not all bad, but its not attractive either. My kids saw a picture of when they were in the boy scouts and they said they hated it. I told him what they made and the purpose of it and my ex started to laugh with them about a lady who had a lazy eye who was leader of the group. I just like really? I mean its petty, but just some of the comments he made...like correcting my older son's grammer in a very condensending way...and I was like "you are correcting grammar ex-h?? I said this is a first. I said usually it would be me correcting grammar." He didn't know what to say.

ANYWAY...is funny how some days I miss the old him and then when I see the him now, I think ew. I think is this what his wife really likes? I mean he was generous to put up this TV for me and take down a whole cabinet, etc. Like THAT part is nice. I'm thinking it just strokes his ego even more when he gets to do stuff like this for me.

For any newbies reading this, its going to be 12 years on October 2 of this year that he left. So, this is just my reflections at some of the things that still pop up from time to time.

I couldn't even see myself being friends with someone like him...obviously his values are out of whack, but also his personality has changed quite a bit and its just ew.

traildad posted 9/14/2013 07:25 AM

It has been a much shorter time period for me, but I see this in my XWW as well. I will interact with her for 10 minutes and walk away feeling gross. I can't see any of the things I thought I liked about her.

Good observation click. And nice of him to put up the TV (ego stroking and all).

BrokenDaisy posted 9/14/2013 10:14 AM

I can relate to this even though it has been much much shorter for me too but once my eyes opened up I just don't know what I ever saw in my stbx. To me it shows me how little I valued myself to put up with him. Won't do that again!

It reminds me of a quote by StrongbutBroken:


"I do feel sad that I focussed so much on his potential and so little on mine.

HurtsButImOK posted 9/14/2013 12:55 PM

Similar experience for me too.

Last time I spoke to X on the phone I think I pulled an eye muscle from rolling them so much

Sooooo much negativity and me, me, meeees.

Found myself thinking 'how the f did I live with that for so long' and thanked the Universe for the release I didn't realise I so badly needed.

FaithFool posted 9/14/2013 13:33 PM

Found myself thinking 'how the f did I live with that for so long' and thanked the Universe for the release I didn't realise I so badly needed.

No shit!

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