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Divorce/Separation :
Should have known

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 Catwoman (original poster member #1330) posted at 4:39 PM on Saturday, September 14th, 2013

About six weeks ago, I got a call from the oldest CatKid (she is emancipated in the eyes of the court, but in graduate school) who was at the dentist's office. They were asking for a payment of $1000 before they started some major work. She is still covered by the ex's insurance, so I would be reimbursed for what was covered. I did it (but reminded CatKid that a little notice and planning would go a long way).

The ex did not contribute anything to that day's treatment.

Guess who has likely gotten the check from the insurance company? And of course, guess who will not pay me.

Guess it is too much to ask for him to be decent. And of course, since this was and is voluntary, there is no recourse through the courts. I am investigating whether or not this would be considered fraud on his part and may pursue that angle.

But hell's bells, why? It has been 10 years. I leave him alone. I have had to take him back to court on contempt charges FOUR times because he refuses to pay things like out of pocket medical expenses and he has been found committing fraud with regards to his alimony obligation.

I wish he would evaporate.

Cat

FBS: Married 20 years, 2 daughters 27 and 24. Divorced by the grace of GOD.
D-Days: 2/23/93; 10/11/97; 3/5/03
Ex & OW Broke up 12-10
"An erection does not count as personal growth."

posts: 33182   ·   registered: Apr. 5th, 2003   ·   location: Ohio
id 6487041
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ZenMumWalking ( member #25341) posted at 5:16 PM on Saturday, September 14th, 2013

WHAT A FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!!!

But you already know that.....

Sending reimbursement mojo your way. But seriously. FTG.

((((Cat))))

Me (BS), Him (WH): late-50's
3 DS: 26, 25, 22
M: 30+ (19 1/2 at Dday)
Dday: Dec 2008
Wanted R, not gonna happen (in permanent S)
Used to be DeadMumWalking, doing better now

posts: 8533   ·   registered: Aug. 28th, 2009   ·   location: EU
id 6487061
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Nature_Girl ( member #32554) posted at 6:19 PM on Saturday, September 14th, 2013

WOW! That's a lot of money for him to play around with. What a jerk.

Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU

posts: 10722   ·   registered: Jun. 21st, 2011   ·   location: USA
id 6487105
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Kajem ( member #36134) posted at 8:15 PM on Sunday, September 15th, 2013

Cat, I swear we married brothers from different mothers.

XH has done this numerous times-all 4 kids are in college - medical/ dental expenses are voluntary at this age in my state.

Would he reimburse Catkid? My XH will reimburse the kid -not me. The kids and I have devised this plan -they tell him they paid for the procedure. And they ask for him to turn the insurance money over to them. It's not always worked, but it has a better chance for reimbursement than him reimbursing me.

It sucks.

Hugs,

K

I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - UnknownRelationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

posts: 6708   ·   registered: Jul. 15th, 2012   ·   location: Florida
id 6487924
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confused girl ( member #10649) posted at 3:15 AM on Monday, September 16th, 2013

I'm just waiting for this to somehow turn into your fault with catkid.

Hope I am wrong.

Love always hopes.

posts: 1426   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2006
id 6488304
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Dark Inertia ( member #30727) posted at 3:18 AM on Monday, September 16th, 2013

So why didn't she ask her dad for the money? ... or better yet, work for it herself?

[This message edited by Dark Inertia at 9:20 PM, September 15th (Sunday)]

posts: 1842   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2011   ·   location: The Ohio
id 6488308
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 Catwoman (original poster member #1330) posted at 10:27 AM on Monday, September 16th, 2013

So why didn't she ask her dad for the money? ... or better yet, work for it herself?

From what I understand, she tried calling him first and couldn't reach him. And she is in veterinary school full-time--she does work a few hours a week, but not enough to cover this expense.

Cat

FBS: Married 20 years, 2 daughters 27 and 24. Divorced by the grace of GOD.
D-Days: 2/23/93; 10/11/97; 3/5/03
Ex & OW Broke up 12-10
"An erection does not count as personal growth."

posts: 33182   ·   registered: Apr. 5th, 2003   ·   location: Ohio
id 6488517
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k8la ( member #38408) posted at 12:02 PM on Monday, September 16th, 2013

Is this something that small claims court would work for?

posts: 1462   ·   registered: Feb. 9th, 2013
id 6488542
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Holly-Isis ( member #13447) posted at 4:39 PM on Monday, September 16th, 2013

I guess from here on out she'll have to know that she has to go to him for help...and that will mean planning ahead.

Just because she didn't plan ahead doesn't mean you should be out money.

"Being in love" first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. *CS Lewis*

posts: 11713   ·   registered: Jan. 26th, 2007   ·   location: Just a fool in limbo
id 6488827
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 Catwoman (original poster member #1330) posted at 4:47 PM on Monday, September 16th, 2013

Yes, CatKid should have planned ahead. No question. However, it is not her fault her father is deliberately withholding (stealing, actually) the insurance reimbursement.

It will be interesting to see what reasoning he uses for doing this.

Cat

FBS: Married 20 years, 2 daughters 27 and 24. Divorced by the grace of GOD.
D-Days: 2/23/93; 10/11/97; 3/5/03
Ex & OW Broke up 12-10
"An erection does not count as personal growth."

posts: 33182   ·   registered: Apr. 5th, 2003   ·   location: Ohio
id 6488840
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confused girl ( member #10649) posted at 2:46 AM on Tuesday, September 17th, 2013

He is just an ass ---- of course, you already know that.

Love always hopes.

posts: 1426   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2006
id 6489623
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