But he asked me for money to have a place to stay OR stay with me. Staying with me is NOT an option. Therefore, I gave him the money. He drove up in a truck with leather seats. Therefore my take from this is that he got a "truck' not a car...that he WANTED NOT what he needed. He took money from me who is the sole provider of OUR 10YO son. He knew I only had money for food and gas to get us through the month.
I feel used. He took money from me because of a want not a necessity. Didn't get a cheaper car for less down payment. He got a truck for more and took from us when I feel, he didn't need it.
The repossession is in my name. I feel sick right now.
[This message edited by overcoming2003 at 11:49 AM, September 14th (Saturday)]
Gently here, but I do think it's important for you to make one distinction (for your benefit) as you recount what happened, however. Say, "I gave" instead of "he took".
Food, clothing, shelter, education, medical for you and your son trumps anything your broke H might need for himself. It's time for him to get a second job and pay his own bills.
I did the same thing - gave POS some money for transportation while we were separated. I was simply trying to be decent. It was for a rental car because he didn't have his own vehicle where he was, had no job, and needed transportation to attend job interviews. If I wanted CS, he needed a job. He ended up not only preauthorizing the gas refill (so he wouldn't have to spend money to fill the tank upon return), but he returned it late. It made me furious, but also taught me a lesson - no more assistance of ANY kind because vampires never stop sucking blood...
[This message edited by Phoenix1 at 12:35 PM, September 14th (Saturday)]
So next time, remember this lesson. He has taught you that his wants will supercede your and your kids' needs.
Repeat until it sticks.
BUT that isn't what he got. However, as many of you stated...it IS a lesson learned. From now on...all correspondences will be via text. I will no longer answer his calls so that I don't get caught up. If I don't like his text, he will get no response. The answer to all questions in which include, "can you please give, loan or let me have, support..etc" will be NO.
What is the point of being separated if he is still dependent upon me. That was one of the issues that I had in the first place. The fact that he asked me to help him finance a car after allowing the car that is in my name to get repossessed...says that I need to file for legal separation ASAP and then for a divorce.
I need to move on. SMH and angry at myself.
I did the same thing with a former boyfriend. I finally just had to walk away from the crazy. I had to write down every single way he did me wrong and when I was tempted to help him/talk to him I re read the list. I never told him about the list, it was to help me be strong.
My counselor then suggested I write down all the good qualities about myself. She said for me to keep this list close and anytime I wanted to go back to him or when I met someone new, to look at my list and see if THEY deserved me.....
You'll get thru this,,, we are here to back you up.
me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
The fact that he asked me to help him finance a car after allowing the car that is in my name to get repossessed...says
that he is a selfish, entitled asshole!
Get the D filed to protect yourself financially so he can't rack up any more marital debt you may be held responsible for. That truck he just bought? Marital debt that has to be divided like everything else. Once you file, you are protected from any other debt going forward...
[This message edited by Phoenix1 at 7:02 PM, September 14th (Saturday)]