It's been three months since DDay. I discovered my husband had been having a LTA. We have been together over 15 years, married 9. I found out by going into his email, finally trying to find out why he was so horrible to me. He travels internationally for work, and saw the OW in various locations around the world, while I stayed at home and took care of our young child, and gave up much of my own life.
We were in marriage counseling during the last few months. He was ready to leave me and break up our family, b ut never admitted it, nor did he admit the OW.
Subsequent to the discovery, the OW decided she didn't want him anymore, or so he says.
I would not allow him to return to the house when I found out. I saw two attorneys for consults, and went through hell, on the roller coaster of emotions, the most painful event in my life, and I've had a rich life. Most of all I was heartbroken for my son. I enrolled in a university class and have been working on keeping the focus on me and my son.
Until the last few days. In the midst of studying for the class I started to go downhill again, almost like a physical sinking sensation. Soon I was emailing him for help in understanding what happened, which he couldn't or wouldn't do, and I followed with two attack emails.
All I said in the emails was true, but I feel terrible now, mired in the pit I have been trying to climb out of for the past weeks. I need to not send him any re mails about feelings, and I have to somehow go back those steps and pick up the pieces again. I don't want to be here!
Has anyone done this/felt this? Any advice on how to keep up the NC, except for kids and finances? I am planning on filing for divorce but needed to have a little time to get strong.