He would assume forgiveness. I would correct him and say, "If you have not heard the words come from my lips, I have not forgiven you".
I was unhappy for many years. I was angry. I was sad. I felt lost. But when I finally was able to begin to work on ME, work on MY WEAKNESSES the affair brought to the surface, I began to thrive again.
3 months ago I graduated nursing school. I started my first job as a nurse soon after. Life isn't perfect, but it is damn good. I can look back and see that due to the work I put in after the affair I have pushed myself to become a person that will bring more to the people around me than I probably would have had I not been pushed to push myself so hard.
Now here I am.
I have a new career, new identity.
After 22yrs my FWH and I made it "legal" and got married last week (my health insurance wouldn't cover him without a marriage license). I have a new name.
Next week I turn 50. I am entering into a new era of my life.
I am ready to forgive.
I want to do something surprising and special for my husband to express my forgiveness. I mean, he has waited long enough. Maybe something I can give/do before my 50th Party Bash.
Any ideas out there???
D-Day, June 10, 2012
I like the idea of engraving something special inside the rings also. Something special that would have meaning to you both? Good luck and happy early 50th!
I have thought of the engraving the rings, but that is a two person thing we may do as a couple. LOVE the idea, but it is hard to make it a surprise for this first step in showing him.
Sisoon, my mind is boggled too, lol. It has been a lot of work and worth every moment spent to get where I am today.
I appreciate you all, thank you!
I knew all along I needed to be thinking of me, but his problems were overwelming. We would go to MC and I would try to talk, and they would switch the focus back to him and his issues. It was all about him him him. I looked "fine" I suppose. I was so resentful and unhappy and felt I had nobody. People, even good friends get sick of the sad story, so I sucked it up and pushed forward. Finally the opportunity came up for me to go to nursing school and I jumped on it. It was very scary and difficult, but not any worse than what I'd been through already. RIGHT? lol
I am now at a place where I can reap the rewards of the hard work. I can dream again. And I have financial security, which was the chink in my armor at the time of the affair.
I no longer live under the illusion that my husband would never betray me. I know although improbable, it could happen again. But now... I have had practice. I wouldn't be blindsided. Much like Mary's mother states in the movie The Women, No one can ever hurt me that way again. And I know what my response would be, the second time around.
[This message edited by 921Lisa at 1:33 AM, September 21st (Saturday)]