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Limbo Sucks

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 PositiveAttitude (original poster member #40624) posted at 11:17 PM on Saturday, September 14th, 2013

Limbo sucks, and I feel like it will never end. I really don't want my marriage to end in divorce. I want us to heal ourselves, but my husband is so wrapped around his guilt and his addiction to her.

I need to find my way out of limbo for myself and my girls, but I don't even know where to start.

Did anyone else suffer through this limbo stage? He's feeling too sorry for himself to be of any use to me, and I just want to start moving past the pain.

BW - 44 - SAHM
WH - 45 - 3 year LTA
Blended family - 2 school aged "ours" children left at home.
DDay (which one?) all in 2013
Reconciling - as best we can

posts: 205   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2013   ·   location: Southwest US (Tucson)
id 6487326
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mom of 2 ( member #11214) posted at 12:10 AM on Sunday, September 15th, 2013

Me! I was in limbo for 18 EXCRUCIATING months. It was pure hell. ANY decision is better than no decision at all. I can't tell you what is right for you but I can tell you I agree that limbo sucks.

Me: BW
Divorced after 23 years of M thanks to XH's truth trickle.
Status: Recovering and healing. It's going to be a long hard road.

Update November 2013: It only took seven years but I finally turned a corner. :)

posts: 13401   ·   registered: Jul. 6th, 2006   ·   location: The suburbs of hell
id 6487361
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Jrazz ( member #31349) posted at 12:55 AM on Sunday, September 15th, 2013

We have a thread in our I Can Relate forum for BS's in Limbo:

http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=415668

It doesn't move as quickly as others but you can get support from members who are in a similar situation, or at least read about others who have been in your shoes. Somehow the "company" makes the limbo a bit more bearable.

As far as getting out - it may feel daunting to think about uprooting overnight - or even in a month. The best advice I've been given is to take very small steps towards your ultimate goal. Whether that means saving money somewhere protected, getting in touch with a lawyer for advice, or just re-learning how to take care of yourself, every little thing can add up to a healthier life after time.

Sending big hugs.

"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." - Deeply Scared's mom

posts: 29076   ·   registered: Feb. 28th, 2011   ·   location: California
id 6487390
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