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Bridal Shower - Bougie?!?

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Lucky2HaveMe posted 9/15/2013 07:11 AM

My daughter is getting married next summer (yay! we love her fiance!) and we have been talking about her bridal shower. She wants it to be Bougie. What is Bougie? Well that was my question - she described it as "You know, over the top... better than everybody else - bougie! If you watched basketball wives, mom you'd understand!"

Ok, well I don't and I don't. So I googled it and here is the Urban Dictionary def:


Anything that is percieved as "upscale" from a blue-collar point of view. 'Bougie' (pronounced boo'-she) is a hacked truncation of the word Bourgeoisie, which refers to the middle-class in Europe, but refers to a more affluent class level in the United States.

In the United States, which lacks strict social classes, Bourgeoisie is sometimes used to refer to those seen as being upper class.
You can sit there and drink your bougie-ass microbrewed beer, but I still prefer my ice cold Coors original.

Did ya see Luthur just roll up in his bougie new BMW?

You can eat your bougie $25.99 salad from Central Market for lunch, but I'm hangin' with Mikky D's!

So what the hell do I do with that!?! Anyone???

wifehad5 posted 9/15/2013 07:27 AM

I'd be tempted to rent out a White Castle

ajsmom posted 9/15/2013 07:58 AM

So what the hell do I do with that!?!


Let her plan it and pay for it.

Problem solved.


alphakitte posted 9/15/2013 08:23 AM

Well, if she wants upper class then google, "etiquette, who should host bridal shower?"

Edith posted 9/15/2013 09:44 AM

And here I always thought Bougie was a urological instrument...going to have to start watching more television I suppose.


Lucky2HaveMe posted 9/15/2013 11:07 AM

WH5 - No White Castle here... but I can get frozen ones from the grocery!
AJM - Oh she is taking control for sure and will be doing all the legwork because I KNOW I will do it *wrong*... except the purse strings. She wants my wallet wide open.

Alphs - Where are her bridesmainds!?! MOH is my other daughter who is a broke college student... so again... my wallet.

Edith - Urological instrument? That could make for an interesting bridal shower theme!

I did tell her that normally when someone wants to throw a party for someone, that someone should be grateful and not so demanding.

alphakitte posted 9/15/2013 18:02 PM

Bougie means to aspire to a higher class than the one which you are in. It denotes pretension.

The "wallet" for the shower should be what the MOH and bridesmaids can collectively afford.

damncutekitty posted 9/15/2013 18:14 PM

I guess I always thought that word was used as an insult. Not as a word to describe party themes.

damncutekitty posted 9/15/2013 18:16 PM

Maybe this is just a midwestern thing, but isn't it kind of rude to say you want an "over the top... better than everybody else" party when someone else is paying?

Sad in AZ posted 9/15/2013 18:26 PM

Yes; bourgeois has very negative connotations--not something to aspire to.

Back in my day (and yeah, you can all get off my lawn!) the bridesmaids threw the shower, it was a surprise and you were very thankful for whatever was done for you and for whatever you received.

I hope that at least some of her request was tongue-in-cheek.

tushnurse posted 9/15/2013 18:53 PM

The bougie s I have used are for use in dilation of the GI tract. Both upper and lower. So I'm guessing she doesn't want that.

alphakitte posted 9/15/2013 19:23 PM

This is a teaching/learning moment.

You have other children. How much could you afford for their showers, or groom's dinners, and bachelor parties? Divide by the number of children and that's the macimum you would be willing to contribute, or nothing, if you don't to. Either she makes her own shower bougie, on that, or she doesn't.

It is a party, for heaven's sake! Not even the wedding's main event, let alone the marriage to someone you're hoping she remains married to.

Very interesting article in a financial publication, recently. The headline was, "Teach your children that your wealth is not their wealth".

Lucky2HaveMe posted 9/15/2013 19:58 PM

Oh trust me, she has a budget that we will stick to! They are funding their wedding on their own - we do have a set amount for each child's wedding just as we did for each of their college choices. They all have loans, some more than others, due to their choices.

She said she wanted a "Bougie" shower - I just didn't know what to do with that! LOL Guess no one really does.

The MOH (my other dd) is in charge of figuring out how to decorate for this *theme*

ETA: Maybe I'll try to sit through an episode of "Basketball Wives" to get a feel for this!

[This message edited by Lucky2HaveMe at 8:00 PM, September 15th (Sunday)]

alphakitte posted 9/15/2013 20:12 PM

ETA: Maybe I'll try to sit through an episode of "Basketball Wives" to get a feel for this!

If for nothing else than the ICK factor.

lieshurt posted 9/16/2013 08:47 AM

I guess I always thought that word was used as an insult. Not as a word to describe party themes.


Grace and Flowers posted 9/16/2013 10:11 AM

I don't understand why bridal showers and baby showers became necessities in life. I had neither...and I lived!

My ex mother-in-law hosted a baby shower for HERSELF...for MY babies!!! They were her first grandkids, lol. And then sent me pics of all the gifts SHE was given!!!

Personally, I think showers are parties that someone does FOR you...and that a person should not be giving orders as to how the party is set up.

[This message edited by SadMad2012 at 10:12 AM, September 16th (Monday)]

Crescita posted 9/16/2013 11:41 AM

Id throw a tea party. In your home/garden. Go to thrift stores or Ross and pick up whatever silver/crystal serving platters, tea sets, and champagne flutes they have, mixing is fine if not preferable. Serve finger sandwiches, pastries, tea and sparkling wine. You don't have to break the bank to play at being fancy.

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