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Moving Forward

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glastron posted 9/15/2013 11:49 AM

What is moving forward? My divorce was final two weeks ago. We have been separated for almost three years. I have a disabled adult daughter that I am responsible for.

Unfortunately I don't see that dating will be that easy for me. I am 53 years old and he was the only one I did date. Is that the only way to move forward--find someone else? It is very difficult.

In the last three years, I have done a lot to step outside my confort zone, try to do things with my daughter that will make her happy and then me happy too. I am more in touch with my likes and my positive qualities and have become more spiritual and outgoing.

But I just feel the void still. Like it is not enough. Or is this all there will be? It is routine, pleasant but not fulfilled or happy. What can I do? And I still have him in my head and the memories as I have to see and talk to him regularly.

FaithFool posted 9/15/2013 12:08 PM

Is that the only way to move forward--find someone else?

Definitely not the only way!

There are many of us here who are older and have chosen to move forward in other directions, going back to school to study something that interests us, volunteering with organizations that make a difference in the world, taking up an old passion like music or art or dancing.

There is a big wide world out there and so much to explore.

I'm sorry you have the heavy responsibility of caretaking your adult child, that is extremely difficult, and I hope you have a support system in place to give you some 'me' time.

Can you take short trips to somewhere nice just to get some inspiration?

Make a list of things you have wanted to do but couldn't because you've been so distracted by the aftermath of infidelity.

Choose one that really interests you and take steps to pursue it.

I'm engaged in online study as well as finishing a degree I started long ago. It's really stimulating and keeps me interested in the world outside men and dating.

I've been celibate for a long time and am quite OK with that.

Big hugs. This isn't easy but if you take the time to really look at yourself I think you'll find something you love.

Bluebird26 posted 9/16/2013 02:29 AM

Your new beginning doesn't have to involve a new partner at all.

Try looking after you and see what happens. It's all about you now.

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