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Newest Member: wonkeddev

Divorce/Separation :
Now what

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 surprise (original poster new member #40680) posted at 8:28 PM on Sunday, September 15th, 2013

Hi all, I'm new to this site so should explain my situation. My wife and I had been having issues for the past 6 months, I noticed it and became "clingy" more and more as she became further distant.

I noticed things happening with her friend about two months ago and pretty much knew exactly what was happening straight away but no matter how much I tried to talk to her she refused to acknowledge anything. Last month ago her friend was staying at our house (it happens often because we have a spare room) and I woke up in the middle of the night. descriptions aren't needed but we have since split up.

Now she has taken my kids and moved 5 hours back to her parents and her friend is planning on moving in with her when she gets a house sorted.

This girl was the love of my life for 10 years but Im really struggling with the fact that I'm losing my children for something that wasn't my fault.

I'm not going to lie, I have been having issues with alcohol since this all happened so I know I am not really making much sense as I type

posts: 18   ·   registered: Sep. 15th, 2013
id 6487941
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Pass ( member #38122) posted at 10:26 PM on Sunday, September 15th, 2013

I'd don't have any legal advice for you, but have a metric shitload of sympathy. It would drive me nuts if The Princess moved that far away with my kids.

I know drinking can feel like it's helping, but we both know better than that. Most of all, alcohol is a depressant, and I'm pretty sure that's something you don't need right now.

For your sake, stop drinking for a month, and see how much that helps you. It was huge for me!

Divorced the cheater and living my best life now.

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous.

posts: 3785   ·   registered: Jan. 14th, 2013   ·   location: Ontario, Canada
id 6488029
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 surprise (original poster new member #40680) posted at 10:36 PM on Sunday, September 15th, 2013

Thanks pass, I know that, sadly I knew it all. I know I need to stop drinking but I keep hitting "speedbumps" todays was looking at FB (I blocked my wife but not her sister) and saw pics of "the cute couple". damn it hurts. legaly I know she will be nice but this isn't my first failure, my first attempt failed cause she used to hit me and I left (kids involved too but 5 hours the other way)

posts: 18   ·   registered: Sep. 15th, 2013
id 6488040
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HurtsButImOK ( member #38865) posted at 10:44 PM on Sunday, September 15th, 2013

Sorry you find yourself here surprise. Nothing about this situation we have found ourselves in is fair.

Seek legal advice about your rights regarding the kids etc.

I too used alcohol as a coping mechanism, its not a good one. I used it during the relationship to quiet my screaming gut. After Dday I stopped as it doesn't help and is only an ineffective bandaid. The only way through this is through it - there are no shortcuts.

Take care of yourself, try to eat and keep hydrated with non-alcoholic beverages. Focus on doing what is healthy for you and your kids.

Welcome and sorry you have had to join our ranks.

Me: Awesome - 35.... ummm, not anymore

"I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel". –Maya Angelou

posts: 759   ·   registered: Apr. 2nd, 2013   ·   location: Australia
id 6488048
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