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When will the dominos stop falling over? (rant)

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Tired05 posted 9/15/2013 18:56 PM

My WH is stationed in S. Korea and was supposed to be sent back to the states no later than August we are, middle of September...and still no orders.

His NCOs still have a bar on him because of all of the trouble he has gotten into. (The last OW was also a servicemember stationed in S. Korea, they put a restraining order on him for her and they found out that he violated it (with proof) a good 4 times or so (of course they were constantly in contact though), resulting in 2 Ar15s. Which means he lost 2 ranks and about $350 pay per paycheck (that's $700 a month!). By the time she came back to the states in the middle of December, his NCOs knew everything and were trying to kick him out) The bar prevents him from leaving. They are in the process of lifting it because they couldn't catch him for anything else, but they are dragging their feet...hoping for him to slip up maybe? At the moment, he isn't scheduled to leave AT THE EARLIEST until October 12th. I am fully expecting them to find some other excuse for why it isn't lifted then (can't find the form, lost paperwork, etc.).

And i'm just sitting here alone, with our 6 month old daughter. Our families are 500 miles away, no close friends around, and we are strapped for money because of his pay deduction and bills piling up during the A while he was spending. We are getting by and managing by being on a crazy tight this means I can't even drive up to visit.

The military also gives spouses 16 free daycare hours plus $2 off per hour afterwards if the servicemember is stationed at a different base. Welp, since his year is up....I don't get that little help or break anymore unless I find a little extra cash.

So I just sit here, day in and day out, the only one taking care of my kid. Don't get me wrong, i'm glad that I can (i'm forced to now because we can't afford daycare) stay at home with her, but this is extreme. The money situation is getting better, but there usually is only a little left over for maybe one mommy and me class every few weeks and gas money for a trip to the mall and maybe enough to buy lunch and a shirt or a toy for her. I take online classes, I have to do all of the yard work (can't justify using the money to pay anybody else to do it when we own a lawn mower/hedge clippers/etc) after baby goes to sleep, all the cleaning, take care of the dog and cats, grocery shopping, cooking, and taking care of my baby. He has been gone since August 13th, 2012 (left when I was 12wks pregnant)...then got to come back for leave (we had to pay $2500 for his airfare) from a week before she was born until she was three weeks old and had to go back. So I have been going at it since August 2012.

Sometimes I can't believe just how much his decisions have affected my life. It angers me that I have to deal with so much because of it. I seem to have to deal with the worst parts as well. He works (he is a generator mechanic), but they aren't really doing much over there. He says he spends half of his work days sitting in the office with a group of other people talking or playing his DS or goes back to his room and takes a nap. He goes to his barracks room (they have separated rooms, only share a bathroom with one other person) and have the rest of that time to himself. He can go to a friend's room and play xbox, he can just veg out on the computer after work for hours until he goes to sleep and can sleep all weekend if he chooses. His NCOs all hate him and give him crap, but only because they all know that he went over there and pretended to be single while his wife was at home alone and pregnant. Then he proceeded to get OW pregnant. He brought it all on himself, so I don't feel sorry about his NCOs not going out of their way to be nice to him. (I just wish they would send his ass home so he can change a diaper or two or let me sleep in on a sunday or something)

This is all a part of military life and I have excepted that. But since DDay and especially now that his year in Korea is up, it just pisses me off to no end.

I can't find any evidence of him picking up another AP over there and we have been completely and absolutely NC with OW since July (when she had a courthouse wedding at 8 mos pregnant to some guy who is claiming the kid is his now and is Capt. Save A Hoe apparently) and I can't find anything to sugguest NC is broken. He seems remorseful and transparent, he seems to have emerged from the fog, and seems to be telling the truth, only it's hard to fully judge that because of the long distance.

Why am I still being punished? I can't fully enjoy my baby because I spend so much energy doing what needs to be done that I don't have as much energy to just do what I want to do like play with her, or read to her. She is teething right now and getting all four top teeth at once and I just feel drained.

I'm tired. I'm tired of being tired. I'm angry and I'm angry that I am so damn angry.

Ugh, thanks for letting me rant guys!

[This message edited by Tired05 at 7:04 PM, September 15th (Sunday)]

sad12008 posted 9/15/2013 22:06 PM

sent you a PM

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