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And lied to and betrayed again

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fraeuken posted 9/15/2013 20:20 PM

Some of you might remember that I was happily dating a man who was quite a bit older than me and some of you might remember that he dumped me one night out of the blue.

I did not update the story for a while but what happened in the meantime was that the same weekend he dumped me he was admitted to the hospital with sepsis and was in a horrible state, touch and go for a few days. He pulled through, he does not recall much of what was going on that weekend and as I helped him with some stuff as he being released from the hospital we talked it out and got back together.

We had, what I thought, great times. Spent a lot of time together again, road trips, dancing, talking for hours, making plans.

Then, today, we were invited to a friend's birthday party. When I asked him in the morning if we were going he (now I know) pretended he had forgotten about it and that he did not want to go because he hated the place. He called me early in the day, asking if I wanted to join for a football game. I told him, you enjoy your game and just call me when you are done and come on by, I am at home doing stuff around the house.

For hours, I don't hear from him. I try to call him, goes to his voicemail. I text him, nothing.

So I leave him a message that I am heading to our friend's birthday party to say 'Hello'. No response.

Guess, who is at the birthday party? Guess who is all shocked to see me? Guess who is drunk and buying a glass of wine for drum rolls ----- his ex-girlfriend.

And then it hit me - I was wondering who the woman was who was starting to laugh and talk to another woman next to her, pointing at me and looking my direction. And then the man I thought loved me, walked right by me, carrying drinks for her and him, did not acknowledge me and sat next to her, leaning into her and laughing and talking to her. And this woman shot me a triumphant look that said it all.

I left. I never thought I would ever let myself be treated this way again after what I have been through with my ex.

I showed this man nothing but love and generosity; heck, I treated him to an expensive massage yesterday because he works a lot and does physical work and was hurting.

I know the look in somebody's eyes when they have been caught. I wish I could un-see that. I wish I could forget the humiliation I felt the moment he walked by me without acknowledging me. This is the same man who swore up and down that because he had been lied to and cheated on he would never do that to me.

Why do I deserve this?

[This message edited by fraeuken at 8:22 PM, September 15th (Sunday)]

heartbroken30 posted 9/15/2013 20:29 PM

I am so so sorry. You do not deserve this at all. He showed you who he really is...scum. After all you did for him. He doesn't deserve you. What a loser he is. I am so angry for you.

Big hugs...

foreverempty posted 9/15/2013 20:49 PM

You deserve an awful lot better than that!

persevere posted 9/15/2013 21:07 PM

Sweet fraeuken, you absolutely do not deserve this - what a f'd up sonofabitch. To quote our Tesla - Fuck That Guy.

He KNEW you were invited and he pulls this shit? Not only is he fucked up, he is completely stupid.

I'm sure he will have some sort of explanation with his apology - please consider it carefully, because I find it hard to believe there is any reasonable explanation for this BS.

What a fucking jerk.

FaithFool posted 9/15/2013 21:09 PM

Wow. That is pretty low.


PhoenixRisen posted 9/15/2013 21:13 PM

wow! what a jerk
Sorry for your pain, you deserve better.
You deserve respect & decency at minimum.
You deserve love and to be the center of a sig other's world.

fraeuken posted 9/15/2013 21:17 PM

There is no acceptance of any apology whatsoever. I have blocked his numbers already so he can't call me or text me, blocked him and all of his acquaintances on Facebook, and put his email on Spam Filter on my email so I don't see anything that might be coming in when he is sober. I know he will come to regret this tomorrow but I am done.

I might run into him over time as we hang out at the same places. I will not frequent them for a while. I will go to church (yes, that's where we went together this morning) but I can get in and out quickly without having to interact with him. I don't want him to take this church away from him, love the people and the pastor.

His stuff is sitting outside by the door waiting. I am really tempted to flush his Viagra down the least not fun for him tonight if he was planning on that.

[This message edited by fraeuken at 9:18 PM, September 15th (Sunday)]

bbee posted 9/15/2013 21:24 PM

Flush the fucking Viagra! Douchnozzle.

fraeuken posted 9/15/2013 21:26 PM

Flushed! The things a bottle of sparkling wine makes you do.

[This message edited by fraeuken at 9:27 PM, September 15th (Sunday)]

persevere posted 9/15/2013 21:33 PM

Definitely glad you flushed it!

tryingagain74 posted 9/15/2013 21:40 PM

That makes my blood boil.

Good for you for blocking the crap out of him. He's not fit to lick your (bitch) boots.

I'm sorry he was such a complete and utter waste of oxygen. I'm sure that his wonderful ex-girlfriend will be there for him when he has another health crisis. Not. (Cue Connie Francis: "Who's Sorry Now?")


jo2love posted 9/15/2013 21:42 PM


I'm so sorry. You deserve so much better. Sending you strength and hugs.

traicionada posted 9/15/2013 21:45 PM

Ugh! Ugh! Some people are such a waste of time and energy. You deserve better so much better

Nature_Girl posted 9/15/2013 21:47 PM

This makes me so angry on your behalf. I wish we could go into his place of business and give him dirty looks & run a few customers out.

nowiknow23 posted 9/15/2013 21:54 PM


I am so very sorry, honey. You know you don't deserve this. Nobody does.

fraeuken posted 9/15/2013 21:57 PM

He just picked up his stuff.

I heard the tires screeching outside and the engine being tortured when he left. This man is in his 60s - really? I would expect this behavior from a teenager.

persevere posted 9/15/2013 22:08 PM

Well, you didn't completely dodge the bullet, but really you did. It would be far worse if you (and your children!) were more invested and he pulled this crap. ((Hugs lady))

wildbananas posted 9/15/2013 22:37 PM



fraeuken posted 9/15/2013 22:52 PM

Starting to see the good in this - I am watching my favorite program peacefully, getting some contract work done without interruption(money rolling in this week) and don't have a guy with constant back pain and flatulence on the couch next to me.

Tomorrow my girls come home and I will just focus on spending a wonderful week with them without having to worry about splitting my time between him and them. I am thinking movie nights, mani/pedi and a haircut with my favorite hairdresser for my older one. Games with my little one and just having the cat sleep in bed with us, yeah! When I wake up tomorrow morning, I won't have him hanging out at my house until it's time to go to work but will be able to head out to the gym right at 8.00 a.m. when my cleaning guy shows up. And then Girls Night Out with my best friend is on again - no more guilt trip because I spend time with a friend.

I will miss falling asleep in somebody's arms and waking up the same way. We had that incredible chemistry where you just forget the world around you when he hugs you. Or so I thought, I guess it was just what I felt...

persevere posted 9/15/2013 23:28 PM

I think you use the points on this post to prepare you for future relationships. Set your boundaries up front. I personally don't think guilt should be a factor when spending time with your friends. My BF and even XWH were both good with my friend time.

XWH just later decided to extend his friend time to other

My point is trust matters and if he ( meaning any "he") can't reasonably accommodate that then that is a red flag.

This is a good opportunity to define your boundaries for the future.

Though your "he" is still a scumbag sonofabitch.

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