The PAIN is REAL and it is HARD to explain and to deal with.
This came out of no where and hit me like a truck.
I have had a VERY hard time dealing with all of this. I cant wrap my mind around any of it.
People tell me move on and get over it!! WTHECK how do you turn off feelings after 25 years?? He tells me I will learn how!!! I dont think so. I was in this whole heart and soul.
How do I deal with all of this?? I dont know how. We have 3 grown daughters and 2 young granddaughters.
I am no where near ready to even think about forgiveness, I cant stand to be anywhere near him. His parents treat me like the plague.
I have done nothing wrong but love their son with all my heart and soul.
My heart is shattered beyond repair. There are days that are so dark.
I am so full of hate, anger, embarrassment, and shame.
How do you move past the pain and suffering??
I can read the grief and anguish in your post - and while I'm not in that phase anymore it was literally the darkest time of my life.
Time and personal growth helped me to begin to heal. That and coming here a few days ago and finally realizing all the excuses that I was making for him and his behavior!
Take care of you. Eat, stay hydrated, sleep.
But mourn what could have been, don't sugarcoat and mourn that which was not. Don't build a shrine in your heart for what wasn't. Grieve, and then let yourself look forward. (((hugs)))
D-Day, June 10, 2012
What has happened to you is emotional abuse. A "normal" person would not have done this to their spouse. A "normal" husband would have tried marriage counseling, then divorced, then healed for at least 6 months, THEN looked for a new person.
I do remember those dark first days, as my H set up a whole "friendship" sort of thing with her H and OW, and me. The H of the OW was tricked, as I was into believing we were all good friends, but the whole deal was a set up so they could be together more. When I figured it out A YEAR LATER, I could feel my brain skip a gear. Literally.
My H family won't talk to me to this day, and the H of the oW STILL does not believe the two of them were together during that time.
What I am trying to say is you have been transplanted into a world of crazy and you do not belong there. Continue to get support from SI because almost every single person on here has felt the betrayal, the confusion, then finally peace as we move on and heal.
