Babies are good, I am a mess, we are trying to work things out but I have fallen into a deep dark depression and the only joy I have are my twins.
I am hoping here is a start for me have a safe place to talk and get some advice.
Thanks for reading my long ass post. LOL and I left out ALOT
Focus on adequate nutrition and investigate IC. Even in the most healthy and supportive marriages having twin babies is wildly stressful.
Your concentration needs to be exclusively on yourself and trying to find avenues to healing.
Your husband must shift off your priority radar. His selfish needs and wants need to not cross your mind.
As hard as it is as you struggle with depression, build a support network. Professional help will serve you well and offer you the beginning stages of peace of mind so you can get back into the routine of life.
Sweet friend, my heart breaks for you. This is a horrible time in your life. You need to come to this site often and post post post. There are so many people who care and can offer insight and hope.
And, as unbelievable as it sounds, you will come out on the other side - happy and whole. The journey is hard but you have what it takes.
Many hugs to you
Just trust yourself, then you will know how to live.
I'm so sorry you are here honey.
I agree with self, you and your beautiful babies must be your main priority now. You didn't say if you H was remorseful or not. You may have to detach from him in order to begin the process of healing. Your needs and the needs of the babies first.
I would also add that you should talk to your obgyn. Expalin about the depression, tell your doctor about your marital situation, get tested for STDs (right away). Although infidelity is more than enough to trigger full on depression in anyone, post partum depression is also very real. You may need medication to help you at this point but at a minimum you need the support of your doctor. Also, is there anyone in real life who you can lean on during this time?
Keep posting honey, such good people are here to help.
The others are very correct. Your only obligation right now is to those two beautiful babies that you gone thru hell to bring forth. If he's got any chance of being recognized as a man vice a sperm donor, your WH should be doing everything in his power to support you, the mother of his children, and his children with whatever you need, and hold nothing back. You have absolutely no obligation to do one darned thing for him cook, clean, laundry, nothing. Your only obligation is to yourself and your babies. And you must take care of yourself. If you don't, you cannot take care of your babies, and they deserve all of the care and love that I know that you have for them.
This is the thing. You don't have to make One Darned Decision right now. You don't have to decide to stay or to go, nothing. You can take the time that YOU need to make your decision if you want to give this POS laughingly called a husband another chance or not. Take your time. Please talk with a lawyer to find out your rights. Please find an IC to talk to as well. I assume you've already found The Healing Library, in the upper left corner in the yellow box? If not, read it. Read posts in this forum that have the bulls-eye next to them. It's all good advice written by people who have been there and done that.
And do not accept one ounce of blame for your WHs betrayal. He made the conscious decision to go out and get laid. He did this to you with your relative. Then after making promises to you, he waited until you were at your most vulnerable, and made an experience that should have been filled with bliss and support into a nightmare. There is a special place in hell for WHs who screw around on their pregnant wives, IMO. (((hugs)))
D-Day, June 10, 2012
I am taking each day and enjoying every minute with my babies however once they are in bed I am left with my thoughts.
As for my WH, we have done a lot of yelling, crying, and talking but because I have always been lied to and manipulated by him I am still not 100% sure he has told me everything and I know he is still being selfish and not 100% committed. He thinks he is but I don't think so.
He has huge issues and I have told him he needs to figure it out cause I am sick of being his mat.
One of our huge problems is he is a photographer and guess where he met his whore? Yep through his photography which I once loved and now it makes me sick, unless it is pictures of my sweet babies.
That is where I am today. Lets see what tomorrow brings.