You are important and you matter. Your feelings matter. Your voice matters. Your story matters. Your life matters. Always.
My update is not rosy, but I'm plugging along. I'm worried, antsy, nervous, lonely...but happy? Weird...
I'm training for the field rep job at $10/hr. It may have potential, but I'm not entirely convinced that it's not a pyramid scheme I have to pass the training to move into the field, and I'm progressing as quickly as I can; the training is somewhat stop and go. I started last Wednesday, I've put in 20 hours, and I'm almost finished. The company's estimation was that it would take 40-50 hours over the course of 2 weeks, so I'm ahead of the game. I am struggling with parts of it; I think I'm spatially challenged Even if I get through the training, it will take me a few months to work up any speed that would allow me to make more money, and that's provided my manager gives me enough work. It's all an unknown at this point.
I'm still resumeing for other jobs. It's frustrating to find positions that I'd be perfect for but never hear from them. Others contact, interview, then don't get back to me. It's typical. I've only been looking for 3 weeks; my experience is that it takes me 2-3 months to find a permanent job.
My own money is almost gone; the move was more expensive than I thought it would be. My mom gave me a cushion, but that won't last forever. I need some expensive items to make it through the upcoming winter--snow tires, a good winter coat, snow boots (can't knit or sew any of these Well, maybe the coat, but it wouldn't be worth it.)
I'm getting out and doing meetups. I haven't clicked with anyone as a friend yet, but that's not a priority; I like being alone most of the time.
After all of this, I love it here. I feel like this is where I belong, at least for the time being. I used to spend my summers and a big part of winter in this area; I know it pretty well, and I've always loved it. It's peaceful, but there's enough to do if I want to be busy.
So, I'm worried, restless, lonely--and hopeful
Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-62
D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI)
S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011