Hi, we are 10 mths passed DD and are working on our marriage.
My question to you all is this:
My H had (what I call) an online EA with a woman from the U.S (we live in the UK)
Right ... so ...
They met in a chat room (Chatbazzar) chatted & did cyber sex for a few weeks before moving onto yahoo chat (him using an alias email address)
1) He told her his name was T*** (its not)
2) He told her he was 24 (he's not)
3) He told her he was single (obviously he's not)
4) They didn't ever arrange to meet and chat, just chatted when each other were online.
5) He said he used her
6) He said she used him
7) She would strip for him on webcam and touch herself while they did the cybersex shit!
8) She never saw him on webcam (how I know, because we didn't have a web cam on our computer, and when he used to chat with her, I would be in the house/room most times)
(I didn't know this was going on, he would be sat with lap top on his lap different side of room)
9) She had no clue about me, she knew nothing about our marriage, our kids etc
10) Every time they chatted it resulted in sex.
11) They never had a conversation that didn't involve sex
12) He could take it or leave it from her. if she wasn't online, he would go into chat room and chat to other people which sometimes resulted in cybersex, sometimes just normal clean chat.
13) I confronted her online, left her a message and when I went to send her another one, she had deleted her email address (which I assume was also an alias)
The reason why im asking if it was an EA is because I don't think there was any emotion in it! I think they both used each other to get what they wanted. (If you please read my profile maybe you would understand my H side of things)
Up to a point I understand why he did it/why he felt the NEED to do it .... he could be the person he has dreamed of being since he was old enough to understand about sex.
I don't think it was an emotional affair because he didn't reveal any part of our lives, he lied to her too. She used him for her own kink, and I guess he used her for that too. I always thought an EA was when 2 people knew about each others lives, about everything. She knew nothing .... he said he didn't feel like it was an emotional affair because he 'didn't let her in' ....
Im not saying this makes it any easier as to whether or not it was an EA ... im just curious to everyone's opinion on this.
(please read my profile before commenting, so you can understand everything about my H)
Thanks for reading so far ...