SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

Return to Forum List

I think he actually likes talking about the A?

You are not logged in. Login here or register.

naivewife posted 9/16/2013 09:28 AM

WH is and always has been a talker. But what's kind of blowing me away is that I get the sense he likes to talk about the A, even? At times, he'll say things like, "I was enjoying not talking or thinking about it, but go ahead and ask your questions." But more often than not, we'll be having a nice day, not focusing on it at all, and he'll blurt out something stupid like "Man, what would you do if she showed up at our door someday?" That was what he said while we were out for a really nice walk with our kids last night. Just that morning we had a huge discussion and talked about how we wanted to move past the actual A and start working on us as individuals and a couple, and no longer obsess about OW. And then he blurts that out. This is not the first time, by any means. Is this normal? I read so much about how getting WS to talk about the A is like pulling teeth, but here, if I manage to go 5 or 6 hours without bringing it up then he does! Anyway, anyone else experience this? Why would a WS want to keep bringing it up?

Kierst13 posted 9/16/2013 09:35 AM

It sounds to me like he is still obsessed with her. My jaded mind thinks he likes to talk about the affair because then he gets to think and reminisce about her. She appears to be in his thoughts a lot.

naivewife posted 9/16/2013 09:37 AM

It sounds to me like he is still obsessed with her. My jaded mind thinks he likes to talk about the affair because then he gets to think and reminisce about her. She appears to be in his thoughts a lot.

Ugh, that's what I was afraid of.

ionlytalkedtoher posted 9/16/2013 09:37 AM

yeah, he is still obsessing. she is on his mind.

my husband would randomly bring up ow like that. Turns out--she probably had just emailed or texted him. they were still in cahoots together.

is it possible he is still secretly with her ?

Merlin posted 9/16/2013 09:40 AM

I am convinced that many waywards, because they are that 'broken', needed the drama of an affair to feel anything at all. The heartbreak and destruction that follows is not something they could or would ever want to imagine. The harm they do does not interest or concern them, only the drama.

So perhaps talking freely about it now is a way to keep the drama going?

Return to Forum List

© 2002-2018 SurvivingInfidelity.com ®. All Rights Reserved.